On Monday I went to Little Beaver – which is a state park near where I live. I had to do a “virtual field trip,” which is essentially just a video and a couple of lesson plans that I wrote. I will link the video here once the assignment is graded. It’s a good video. I essentially took a nice walk around the park looking around for things to record and making up this VFT as I walked around the park. I thought about three times I’ve been to that park at pivotal points in my life. Once was on May 4th, 2020 (mentioned in the Epilogue for the MCA of this website. I didn’t mention it in the blog, but me and Ronnie walked through a trail that was supposed to only be a 45–60-minute trail and ended up taking us 2-3 hours as we had kept weaving through different trails. The other time was about a month after I moved back in with my mom after my breakup, I went to the park and walked the same trail a couple times with my buddy Jace. Nothing of note really happened that trip, but it was of note in its (the trips) proximity to that event. This trip is close to my transition with my college and work and everything. I saw a Cardinal, which I thought was fitting for this walk and its’ symbolic meaning – at least that’s what I took away from it. I went home and I drunk a white claw – which wasn’t a good idea.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday for my ingrown toenail, and they told me to keep taking my antibiotic – which I was not thrilled about. My anxiety episode from last week really freaked me out – but hesitantly I started taking my antibiotic although on Monday I drank. This was not a good idea, and I ended up having this awful dream that was nothing but jumpscares and I believe I also had a brief instance of sleep paralysis. I haven’t had one of those jumpscare dreams or sleep paralysis since I was 17, just before I went to military school. I woke up from this awful dream at about 2AM on Tuesday and my stomach hurt and I puked and I thought I had C. Diff. and my gut biome had been ruptured beyond repair and I was going to die – this was not true and I fell asleep and when I woke up at 6:30 AM I felt fine. This was the only noteworthy thing on Tuesday.
On Wednesday I saw K, work was stressful on Wednesday, so it was nice to see her after work. Me and her just relaxed and she fell asleep – which was nice because we both got to relax in our own ways. I left at about 8 PM and read a little at home and then went to bed.
On Thursday I had deaththreads band practice, this was a lot of fun and I’m glad I got to see Dave and Caleb and Seth – which is always nice. I’m working on a couple of different interesting shows with a couple different venues and people and I’m very excited to see those come together. After setting up the equipment, Caleb came by and we practiced some of the songs as a two-piece. Dave arrived around 6PM and we did a full practice. We also started on a cover song for our show on Wednesday, which local readers of this blog should come to, I’ve linked the flyer here:
Practice went well and we all discussed ideas for potential shows and recording the next album. I’m very excited to record the album and I’m hoping to get Caleb to record some on the new album. I was stuck in traffic for quite a while, but I was fine with this as me and K facetimed and we had a nice conversation and I’m very proud of her and I love her. She’s got a voice with a nice timbre, and she has pretty eyes and it’s really cute when her hair is naturally curly. I got home and soon went to bed.
On Friday, I woke up and worked a full day, and I got a lot of work accomplished. I went home and I wasn’t able to drink with my antibiotic – although I didn’t really have any interest in drinking and playing Minecraft (that’s the only thing I can really do when drunk), I wanted to read. After taking a practice test for my upcoming Praxis test, I read Artful Sentences and E.B. White’s Elements of Style for a couple of hours. I also received two packages – one was this book about skin picking, which is a disappointingly book that is about holistic approaches to dealing with Dermatillomania; this approach may work for others, but it’s a little too new-agey for me. I forgot to mention this, but I received a fidget toy. It’s essentially a 3D printed cylinder with spikes and a literal key to a keyboard that works as a clicker. It’s awesome and seems to help keep me occupied. The fidget feels a little goofy, however, my finger-tearing was at a point where it definitely constituted self-injury or self-harm. My fingertips have healed greatly and hoping I can keep up not tearing at my cuticles and ripping my fingertips off.
It’s Saturday and I just went to Subway. On the way there I listened to 2slimey, who is a rapper. His music reminds me of Emisoccer’s bass-boosted dank meme compilation, which I think is a lot of appeal; there is also something to say about 2slimey’s music and how unironic it seems unimportant whether or not people should take it seriously - the answer is probably both. I’m going to work on my grandma’s birthday present and then I am going to see K. Me and her are going to walk around a cemetery, which is something I’m excited for as I’ve never done it before. She said her and her mom used to walk around cemeteries when she was younger, which is sweet. Doing something you did when you were younger is one of those things that makes you really happy to be with someone.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I’m very grateful for my mom. My mom has lived a life filled with rough patches and good moments, and she’s very strong and I’m forever grateful to live life with her. Me and her have lived very similar lives so far and I feel in a little of ways she’s paved the way for me to live. I love my mom, she’s the best.
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It’s Monday and I’m sick, some kind of sinus infection thing that is not fun. I am drinking lots of water and going to get chai tea during lunch. I won’t be summarizing Saturday and Sunday because they were very personal and I think my Mother’s Day paragraph was decent to end the blog, but I wanted to add this interjection to note that it haven’t vaped or ingested nicotine in 365 days. I am very proud of myself. Goodbye.