motivational
interviewing

On January 12th, 2020, I would enroll in my first day at MCA, which is a military school located in Kingwood, WV. I had decided to go to military school after a rough experience within public school during both middle and high school. This cognitive dissonance and general unease was exacerbated by a breakup I was really tore up about and an oncoming existential dread relating to the prospect of turning 18 the following October. I was also in the throws of both depression and anxiety that I wouldn’t really come to terms with / realize the scope of until two years later. I would spend my days at MCA writing constantly to help the time go by.

On March 21st, 2020, we would be sent home due to fears of the coronavirus spreading within West Virginia. The following months would involve the cadets enlisting into an online education program that utilized Facebook. We would be sent to back to MCA for a day of testing. I would pass my class and receive my diploma. 80 cadets out of 157 would graduate, including me. Additional information will be outlined in the epilogue.

On January 11th, 2025, I would take my dog outside. I would stand in the snow and stare at the stars. I would think about how 3 years prior I was significantly under weight, weighing anywhere from 110-130 pounds only to gain 70 pounds over the span of 2-3 years. I would think about my writing at MCA and think about much things had change. The snowflakes brought me back to Camp Dawson on my first few nights at military school. The chill that ran through my spine while standing in the cold reminded me of the chill that would run through my spine constantly while sitting down in the gym at MCA waiting for the next thing to happen. I would zone out staring at my asphalt driveway which would remind me of the same asphalt pavement that I did push ups on in the early hours in the morning in Kingwood. And as I snapped out of it, I swore the same red-blinking light of the Kingwood radio tower that I saw every night while in line to the barracks.

This website contains both a transcript of all my MCA journal entries from 2020 alongside a current blog that will kept up until the release of my next album on October 23rd, 2026 (hopefully). If you have any questions or would like to reach out, I can be emailed at the following email address:

ialmostdiedtheband@gmail.com