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February 7th, 2020
11:32 AM
Hey I'm in Mr. Mullens class right now. I've up to page 45 in To Kill A Mockingbird so I'm faily certain I'll finish it in a week. I'm pretty caught up in my schoolwork. I haven't started science yet, however I'm doing the math -- two pages per day -- I'll get it done over the weekend. I sent out a letter to my mom today. It's a little rambly but it's pretty decent. I sent my aunt one, it was pretty shitty. I get to call my dad today, I'm so excited. I'm gonna tell him how things are going but I really can't wait to tell him about my future and how I might just hold off on the Air Force for E. I'm real excited to take the ASVAB though, it's basic math and shit and I love basic math. If I ever get deployed, hopefully they ahve enough books and composition notebooks to get me through. I think it'd funny to be "serving" while reading Proudhon. We had these army recruiters come in today, and they were full of it. It would've been a lot better if someone came in and yelled "YOU WANNA JOIN THE ARMY??" But they didn't do that. They did tell us "when you get home you might just go down the same bad path, and your life might start to suck again." I honestly wonder if my life will start to suck again. I mean if me and E work out, awesome. And maybe they won't. And maybe I'll join the Air Force.
February 8th,2020
8:35 AM
Right now we're in the gym. I am real excited for the P.T. test, I feel more buff and I've been cleaning my plates pretty good. I'm always experimenting to see how I can eat faster or how not be scared by Reveille. I never get scared by Reveille, I'm just worried I will. Yesterday was real good. It was a holiday. I have a feeling that I am going to enjoy a lot more here. I'm really excited for first leave. I talked to my dad yesterday. He's such a jolly feller. He could be Santa when he gets old enough. We didn't get to talk the guitar, but I told him about how I'm holding off in the military for E. He seemed very proud, he really did. I love my dad. He's coming to the ceremony, Kinsley is too. She calls this place "Mary Terry" instead of "Military." She's goofy as hell, she gets it from her mother. I do too. We just did weigh ins, I weigh 136 pounds, that's one pound more than last time. The thing on my mind last night was I wondering who I looked up to. And I was thinking that at home. I'm very upbeat but her I'm very calm but confident I'd be a really good military man. I asked Mr. Teets about sending books in the mail and you can. You can send cigarettes in the mail. I was thinking about who I look up to and if I had to make a chart it'd be Mr. Teets, Atticus Finch, Paul Baribeau, Kimya Dawson, Zach Hill, and Nick Reinhart. I could go on for days, I got this pair of New Balances, and I honestly want a pair when I get home. They'd look very good while playing a show. My biggest inspirations are Tera Melos, Wingnut Dishwasher's Union, and The Microphones. In all honestly I want to sound like the Eric Andre show and they way Ernest Hemingway writes. I wasn't super crazy about A Farewall to Arms, but that guy can write. I have a headache sort of. I've done quite a lot for 9 in the morning. I'll finish To Kill A Mockingbird on Monday with the way I'm reading. I've already read to Part Two. The part about Mrs. Dubose being addicted to morphine was very good. Harper Lee is a swell writer. Atticus Finch is real smart. Harper Lee only every really wrote that one bool. The opening line about Jem not caring about his effed up arm once it heals because he can still play football is a beautiful but horric metaphor.
1:11PM
Right now we're in OA. I debated going out and doing something but I think I'll just wait things out till we go to the barracks. I feel too sick to do my homework, I'm already caught up on it, so I'll be fine. I've done read 2/4 of To Kill A Mockingburd. What I'm thinking about is whenever I was back in school, and for some reason I got real motivated so I went on NoFap, started meditating, started doing my homework. That fell through pretty quickly. Like real quickly. That was the same week me and K broke up. I remember she came over to my sister's birthday and after everyone had left, we fell asleep together. Well, I didn't. She thought I did. I'm a hell of a lier, I'd hold my breathe or something and when I'd pretend to wake up, she'd say something like "oh baby, you're so sleepy!" I wasn't sleepy, Iwasn't depressed. I was just sad that a moment with her couldn't last forever. That's the problem with moments like that, once they're over and you no longer know that person, the moments always become sad. Moments like that shouldn't be sad, they should be just as happy whenever you remember them. I think K's new boyfriend is in the army. He's not one of those good army men - who come out working out or preaching. He's probably in the barracks right now with a picture of K. I really believed she was my K, and I bet a lot of girls thought that I was theirs, and it is an awful shame me and her are such awful people. Maybe that's why we worked so well for a second. She gave me a taste of my own medicine. I'm not feeling too good right now, psychically, not emotionally. I really can't wait for first leave. I could write all day about what I want to do but my hand has been cramping up. I really want a stick and poke. I want an anarchy symbol tattoed. Not too sure where at though. I'd like like that party dog tattoo. I've wanted that party dog tattoo since I was little. I'd also like to eat a red baron pizza.
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