March 19th, 2020
1:04 PM
I don't know how much time I have to write because someone is getting briefed about the corona virus. They might just sent us on home. My day is going pretty good. I got a letter from my mom yesterday, she gave me D's correct mailing address. She'll never get the first one I sent, but what matters is I got her correcct mailing address and I done wrote her a letter. It's pretty good, I'll mail it out tomorrow. I tore B's picture off this journal, I don't know why, the only thing I can come up with is that I love E.4:20 PM
My dad sent me some goodies. More soap, a box to hold that soap, and some razors. They're yellow Bic razors and they look pretty cool. I bombed my polynomial quiz, and I have some homework, which would usually suck, but I got the whole weekend to do it. I really hope they don't send us home, I'm too used to this and I'm not coming back in July, I'd rather do online school. I'm sort of glad that I'm here because if I was home, I'd probably be hungry as hell. I reread the letter my mom sent me and she wrote, "I read the Grapes of Wrath in AP English. I still remember the ending." That got me interested so I might do all my homework tonight so I can read this weekend. Nevermind that's probably a bad idea, I'd get all burnt out on reading. I'm not going to finish East of Eden because I really don't want to. Lunch was real good today, it was barbecue pizza, salad, cassroul(?), and something else, but it was real good.6:12 PM
We're going home, not forever. I'm still real dazed but we're going home because of the corona virus.6:47 PM
Everything has slightly calmed down. They sat us down and then they told us we are going home. The official leaving date is Saturday, the 21st. People were actually in tears when we got the news. I don't what the hell to think, personally, I think I'm having a moment of clarity. We'll call it that because words can't describe what I'm feeling. I just don't feel my usual brainfog. Those poor bastards that refused yesterday, they probably don't know or care that we're getting sent home anyway, but still. Holy sh-t. Tyson almost got into a fight, I'm unphased. My voice, when I yell, is very powerful I think. I think I'm going to make an ARG out of my tik tok. I think it'd be cool. We're getting ready for the big move, I think. Hopefully I'm staying where I'm at. Today has been a very complex day, but this whole expierence has been fun as hell. Hopefully the world doesn't end from this. That's my biggest fear about this journal is that I'm unintentionally chronicalling the end of the world. I won't journal at home, I don't think. I'm going to watch a lot of YouTube. We're in a state of emergency, but I don't think my family cares too much. What a time to be alive. I think the world is a commune of nervous bastards. And some calm their nervousness with food and some tone it with pills, and some amputate it and forget to put it on the tournique. I get to listen to music for a little bit, like the folk punk I like. We're sitting in the gym, and it really is a strange time to be alive. I'd have it no other way, however, we better not die. That would be a real sucky ending to the world. It really would. I wonder if mom will let me hang out with Ronnie, the truth is I do not know. This will be a story to tell, it really will. It's only been a month since we had first leave. Hopefully we don't get out for too long, but quite a few people are infected. I don't mean like they're zombies or anything like that, I'm just saying, we might be gone for two weeks. 3 weeks is the maximum for them not change graduation.March 20th, 2020
6:27 AM
What a day this is going to be. As far as I know, there is a lot of moving parts to today. I'm not too sure what that means. What I'm most concerned with is the fact that I lost my hat. Not really it's not that big of a deal (spelled with two e's). I'll just give D her letter. This whole thing has been off the rails since May, Kincaid, and even Stover refused. Refusing just means you stop participating in the program and refuse to do anything besides wait for your parents to pick you up. A lot of people refuse in the first two weeks, but I'm not sure why those three refused especially when we're so far along. It's crazy how all this stuff seemed to start and happen seemingly overnight. I don't know how this'll affect graduating and/or testing, but we'll get there when we get there. The best case scenario is they let us take the TASC test early. Yesterday, I found out that the calculator they let you use is one of those high tech easy to use calculators. See, it'd be perfect but I know they won't do it like that. I done figured out what I'm going to do to surprise my buddies. I'm going to write "corona's a bitch, aint it?" in our groupchat. I think it's slight funny. I hope we don't come back until April and we're gone just enough for things to stay the same. I just had a real bad nosebleed, I think it's just because of this time of year. I'm always falling apart, like something's always going wrong with me. Like right now, I'm kind of bummed because I really like the idea of leaving.I'm going to start writing on this page because the previous page is cover in blood. Nose blood. I think I'm get some tampons from one of the cadre, just for the hell of it and practical use and I might as well.
6:56 AM
I feel kind of lousy because my parents have to come all the way out here to pick me up. I'll apologize and they'll tell me it's not my fault. It's not my fault, I just feel lousy because this is all super confusing. My nose keeps bleeding, real bad too. I can't tell if it's because of the weather or stress. I might just spend the whole day bleeding.7:33 AM
I personally liked how breakfast was run today. They had us spaced out. It was sort of nice. These past couple days I've been real excited for school. I'm going to sound like a loser, but before I became platoon leader, the other platoon leaders didn't do anything. 2nd, 3rd, and 5th platoons just stood their platoons up. I'm probably a d-ck when I'm platoon leaderin'. The sad thing is, that's how these kids cooperate best. Me, I don't really care. I do what I am told and nothing more. That is the way of the solider. That isn't really living though, there's more to life than just standing still and what not. It feels as if everyone in the world is just as confused as I am. That's because they probably are. I wonder after tomorrow, when the next time I'll write in this note book will be. The lord only knows. Speaking of the lord, I guess he answered my prayers. I'm going to church as soon as they reopen. I memorized the the eight core components and they didn't even ask me about that when I went up to be cadet of the day. Speaking of that, I was the last cadet of the day. Things are crazy. I feel like I'm witnessing history go down, because we might go into an economic downturn and all these different awful, bad things. Strahin said, "this was an awful way to kick off the roaring 20s." I thought that was pretty lame when she said that - she was one of the ones who broke down in tears when they told us we were going home. People were actually upset. Like a lot of people were. I don't know what to make of it. I want to talk to my mom to organize my thoughts. I ripped B's picture off this journal, I don't know why, I just did. Well, the truth is, I'm really in love with E. She's beautiful and funny and creative and she's a nervous bastard like me. I've got some good band names: Shit'll, Scum B-tch, imissyou(s), Corona Ruth. My brain has all sorts of ideas.8:10 AM
I'm feeling pretty good, pretty good for the world changing. I just looked through my letters with my pictures and I'm real excited to play guitar again, I'm going to practice my scales and learn some black metal songs, I'm going to try to work out some tapping riffs. I'm really excited to practe my guitar, I want to develop a real cool guitar playing style. I'm going to start playing with an amp a lot more. I'm excited. It's almost 8:25 AM ruggt bow, I think we still have enrichment. I don't know when we'll have another briefing. Ms. Trickett is here, so, it might be soon. Crawford told her good morning. It's real easy to tell what you can and can't say to the staff. Usually for me I just start out with my usual expressionlessness and if they seem friendly, I'll be friendly back. I can't wait to talk to E again. I hope we're gone from here for a while. Just long enough to collect my thoughts. Ms. Taylor just10 AM
I'm not sure what time is it is exactly, I don't mean that in a panicky end-of-the-world way, I'd say it's about 10 in the morning. We're in the barracks right now, today is insane. I have a weird feeling about this whole damn thing. People are real scared right now, MCA's never been through something like. Well I don't know what MCA's been through. I don't think anyone has been through anything like this.11:30 AM
We're doing a survey right now, however we're really just sitting in the gym. Things are still up in the air, business as usual I guess. I wrote this thing about D in my journal in February, and it was beautiful. It sounded like a book.11:58 AM
I read my old journal until I got bored, I'll bring it home when I get there. I just realized I'm probably going to have to leave this journal at home, but it's not that big of a deal (spelled with two e's). I'm almost halfway done with this notebook. 44.8%, which rounds to 45%. I wonder if we'll get briefed again. They won't keep us here. If they do, well, they do. And then it's business as usual. But I don't think they'll do anything of that sort. My priorites are to get some Smore Poptarts and listen to Local News Legend. I wonder if my mom will let me see Ronnie. If not, I can just facetime her. I miss my buddies. This day is moving sort of slow, and I'm fine with that. It really is "like a Saturday." However they've known about this whole corona mess since 3 weeks ago. Oh well, the world shouldn't help. It's the panic more than anything. Oh well, the class should be easier, I hope. When we come on back, I will need to hear Forunate Son. Good news, I found my hat. Well, it's Tharp's hat, however I wrote my name on it when he lost it. He's got another one though. We've already made it halfway through the day. 8.8 hours left to the day, I believe. It's taking them forever with chow, however - just as I was writing that we got sent to chow. The Rainbow Rice was great, it always is. I'm excited to get home, I wonder what they'll do with our schoolwork. I'm really excited to play guitar again. I'm going to try and make some mathcore riffs. I want to learn how to do pinch harmonics and I want to use a tuning like CADGBE where the low string is tuned real low but everything else is the same. I could probably get some nice jazz chords and than some real drastic metal type stuff. I don't know what I'll do or what I want. For once, it's almost warm in the gym.1:54 PM
Time is moving as slow as it can, but it's honestly not too bothersome, I know this time tomorrow that I'll be in a car. My dad will probably pick me up. I hope they get my phone, it's hot as hell in here, which is one of the things that make time go slower. Atleast, it's almost 2. It's 1:59 PM now. I've tore up my damn fingertips. Ms. Taylor told us, we won't be here for atleast 2 weeks. That's just what she said. There's a rumor that they might just cancel the whole darn thing, because we're bringing all our personal stuff. The truth is we don't know anything. They said they don't want 161 cadets panicking all at once. I wonder what we don't know. I wonder if we'll ever know. I can't wait for tomorrow, instead of day by day, it's now hour by hour. Mainly because I don't know what the hell is going to happen. I just want to see my family. I'm real impatient, which to be fair, the world is in a state of constant panic. I just can't wait for a Smore Poptart. I'm so excited, I'm going to hug my dad, and I'm going to apologize to him like a mfer.2:10 PM
I'd be in English if it was a normal day here. If I was in Shady, I would be in Forestry.4 PM
Mr. Meegan is running our bay and I think he's pretty cool. He's very calm. We're going home tomorrow. They finally briefed us about our education. They're going to send us packets and we're going to do online school. It'll be easy, I'm excited but I'm also nervous. I don't expect the schoolwork to be bad, but I'm still a nervous bastard. My main priority right now is getting my dipolma and seeing this corona thing through. I hope everything works out, I know it will. I'll get to be home, finally. I have the whole weekend to have fun. They'll explain more to us tomrrow, I really hope I fall asleep easily tonight. There is so much to do, and everything is real uncertain. I need some of my mom's old wisdom, I might keep up with this journal, just to let you know how things are going. Who knows how long we'll be gone. The sucky thing is I'm real unsure and I'm really tired. A lot has happened in the last two days, for some reason I'm real worried people are disappointed in me. They're not but this feeling just appaers out of nowhere. I guess I'm just sad by default. I don't know why, that's just how I am. I wonder when we'll come back here. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I should be thinking about those smore poptarts and my dad. I want to cry, I don't know why I really don't That's what bothers me the most is that I don't have an answer about anything. I wish everything was real simple, but it's not. I don't know, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm worried about going, I don't know why. I should be real happy, but I am not. Things are just hard. They'll (things) will work out. I just need to keep telling myself that, until my mom can tell me :) I'm trying to make myself feel better, I really am. Atleast I am going to be home. I don't know what I'll do, well I don't know what anybody will do, I wonder if we'll graduate on time. They got to evaluate the school situation on the 27th. That sh-t blows my mind. This time tomorrow I'll be home. I just thought another cool band name with paranthesis, "the Starcher(s)." That's just a rip off of "the loner(s)," it really is. We're still in the barracks right now, we're leaving for chow soon.As soon as I wrote that last sentence we left for chow. I'm feel pretty good, I know I have the strength to do my work and stay positive. There's a lot to do and we're getting ready we're getting ready to get our work packets also have mail. So that's good. Chow is going take a while like it did last night. We have to pack tonight. I'll let you know about everything tomorrow. I'm going keep up this notebook, I'll mark out the date I put with Sharpie. It's quite how I was writing my mom about online school and boom MCA is a temporary online school. Laughing. That'll cheer me up big time. I just got some mail. I got one letter from B (I don't know what the hell I'm going to do) and my grandma. Her letter is a little goofy but it's really sweet. She's not bothered by the Corona Virus one bit. I'm not, I'm feeling pretty good. There's just a lot of change going on right now. I'll be fine though. I'll probably just give D her letter. I started thinking about my friends and it made the time go by a little slower. My short term goal is getting our packets, my intermediate goal is waking up tomorrow, and my long term goal is getting to my dad's truck. I'm a little excited. I've been writing all day, I've wrote 15 "whole" pages I think. That's a record. There was one day where I wrote 12 "whole" pages. I'm real damn nervous, if you couldn't tell. I'm real excited to sleep in my bunk tonight. My grandma's letter made me feel safer. It really did. Right now it's really no