I woke up on Monday and went to work, it rained quite a bit whilst driving. I neglected to mention this in the last entry but one of my friends told me an anecdote about describing my music (more specifically the lyrical content) as myself writing about YTPs and internet culture in the same way Jeff Mangum from Neutral Milk Hotel wrote about Anne Frank, WWII, and the overall Trailer Park/Early-20th Century Surrealist Americana seriousness tone of In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. My friend didn’t say all of that, but that’s how I’ve illustrated the anecdote to get into some my own points. I find the YTP comparison interesting; It’s the second time someone has mentioned my music and its relation to YTPs, I believe this comes from my use of odd samples from YouTube Videos and that the green spy (a quite prominent YTPMV artist), produced the Wendigo EP; One fun fact to this fun fact is that the synth from Wendigo the Song comes from Michael Rosen. The mention of Jeff Mangum to Anne Frank got me thinking about an Internet equivalent; In which I could only think of the story between OBEYDAWALRUS and Sandie Crisp, although this story is less analogous to Mangum and Frank and more akin to some sort of Pygmalion Delusion within Obey’s projection of Crisp within Obey’s Finiharios (Definition: Finihario (Noun) - A term originating in Spanish-language YouTube communities during the early 2000s, referring to a surreal, unsettling, or psychologically disturbing video, often composed of obscure footage, experimental imagery, strange editing, black-and-white clips, and an atmosphere of mystery or unease. Finiharios were commonly shared as internet curiosities and were associated with creepy, avant-garde, or “weird YouTube” content rather than conventional horror. This word is first coined by Alexkea7 and PrincipeSubliminal. Examples of foundational Finihario artists (sometimes abbreviated to Finiharist) include contron, joselienlafcl, OBEYDAWALRUS, and Arslot.). I think there is a song somewhere inside of me about both Crisp and Obey and they both have separate but intertwined tragic stories, but for the time being there is nothing inside of me that can effectively put their stories into song. I find Crisp and Obey to be both extremely tragic and controversial; Maybe Obey’s symbolic projections were closer to Crisp not in the actual polarizing style of Finiharios, but rather the reaction obtained through Obey’s self-imposed character. I honestly do not not know and I’ve exhausted this analysis, I’m sure my reader(s) do not know what I am even talking about so if you are interested in this topic (specifically the ObeyTheWalrus YouTube Drama, which is my primary interest) check out these links: Youtube’s Oldest Horrors, OBEY THE WALRUS [Deep Dive] - Internet Mystery & Drama - Obedece a la Morsa - ObeyDaWalrus, and [Youtube Horror Community/Creepypastas] The tale of "Obey The Walrus": How a teenager with grandiose delusions spawned a cult around his persona and immortalized a single creepy video onto internet history. The last point in regard to Mangum’s treatment of WWII is one that I’ve been dwelling on for a while outside emphasis of Mangum; WWII in philosophical terms has been used as a way to put philosophical ideas such as existentialism and philosophic atheism into a historical context, this is a very important point when talking the events that influenced Camus and Sartre’s work or emphasizing the eerie predictions found within Dostoyevsky and Nietzsche. However using these literal worst events in human history such as those that came out of WWII as philosophical jumping off points can be extremely offensive and come off as callous (Both Zizek and Heisman are guilty of this) within a written work. I think Mangum in his more memorial work to Anne Frank provides a humanization to the events described that connects the philosophical decay that WWII caused whilst highlighting the real horrors and tragedies of the past and connecting them into our present. Holland 1945’s last verse does an excellent job at illustrating this dual acknowledgement with the lines: “And here’s where your mother sleeps; And here is the room where your brothers were born; Indentions in the sheets; Where their bodies once moved but don’t move anymore,” highlighting the personal and physical horror while the next lines: “And it’s so sad to see the world agree; That they’d rather see their faces filled with flies,” connect to a greater social and philosophic commentary about the avoidant acknowledgement from the outside world during WWII. Overall, I believe In The Aeroplane Over The Sea to be one of the greatest album of all time; I think the lyrical style or atleast the sentiments are something I hope to replicate one day (most likely in a different project than deaththreads). I think my generation (those born after 9/11, prior to 2010) grew up surrounding some of the most horrifying tragedies in recent memory and I can only assume these tragedies have had some negative effect on people my age in a spiritual, emotional, and philosophical way. This is something I hope to broach one day either in writing or in song as I feel this cultural trauma has caused quite a negative form of nihilism to infect dozens of individuals. I felt this sentiment being expressed in Erik Erikson’s final chapter of Childhood & Society entitled “Beyond Anxiety,” in which Erikson he expresses some concerns about the dangers of arrested development, regression, and this cultural anxiety. I thought these things whilst driving for the most part.
Once I got home, I essentially read the whole evening whilst semi-listening to MaxMoeFoe’s 2014 Japan vlogs and various “Best of” Prank compilations. I decided to stream myself sleeping; which I thought was funny. This stream is linked here.
On Tuesday, I woke up to Wendigoon’s video about the Unabomber which I listened to while getting ready and mixing my cat’s probiotic into their wet food. I consider this video overall to be a well-done video. On Tuesday, not much of note really happened; After work, I ended up reading most of the evening, I read a little bit more of the Republic - I must say the Republic is fairly boring and I recommend just listening to the thing. I mostly read some more of the Bible during the evening, ending on the passage where Joseph’s brothers thrown him down a pit. I would do a sleep stream on this evening as well. This stream is linked here.
On Wednesday, I woke up and started listening to final section of Phaedo, in which Socrates dies. While taking my dog outside, I noticed that someone had ran over a rabbit during the night and this rabbit was long dead. I watered my mom’s flowers while listening to Phaedo, aiming to bury the rabbit after. The talk from Phaedo about the Soul being immortal and the Soul leaving the Body and the actual death of Socrates added a heavy weight to the act of me watering the living flowers whilst planning the burial of the dead rabbit. I used a shovel and I dug a shallow grave for the rabbit. I don’t want to make this part sound too melodramatic because during the course of the burial; I stepped in deer poop and I felt like I ran a marathon due to the humidity. The rabbit was stiff although there was no blowflies nearby, which I was grateful I was able to help before any sort of actual decomposition took place. I have a slight fear/aversion to blowflies and their maggot larva. I hope the rabbit is at peace, wherever the rabbit may be.
On Wednesday, I worked until I didn’t and then I came home. My buddy Ian was coming up to watch a Michael Haneke movie with me. I was very excited as I haven’t really talked to anyone I knew in person since last Saturday, Ian came up and we enjoyed the movie. Me and Ian discussed the movie Gummo by Harmony Korine and what a great piece of Americana that movie is. I told Ian that when I saw Gummo again a couple months ago, I was honestly shocked at how linear that movie (Gummo) is. Like it’s a weird movie with vignettes and it’s experimental and there’s disturbing stuff but the movie contains a loose plot that it stands rather firmly by. The Michael Haneke movie we watched was one of the more disturbing movies Haneke has made (which is why I haven’t mentioned the direct title, but you can definitely figure it out or just ask me), but Ian really enjoyed the movie and I was pleased to explain some of the meta fictional references (such as the storytelling betting analogy or some of Haneke’s more explicit denial of audience satisfaction shots). Once the movie was over I showed Ian my book collection which I was very excited about; I don’t really have someone who is into reading the same way that I am (especially when it comes to both those philosophical classics but also the more esoteric true crime conspiracy books) so I was very excited to show my book shelf off to Ian. I showed Ian my collection of Joyce’s work that I was gifted by a cancer doctor I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with when I was 13. After this, Ian left my house and I began watching The Piano Teacher by Haneke, although I did not finish the movie as I was tired. I ended up going to bed and I did not stream my sleep this night.
On Thursday, nothing of note happened. I mostly just read and did research for Monday’s section.
On Friday, I woke up and fed the animals and went to work. I only worked a half day and then I went to the Raleigh County Courthouse; I am going to be in a film by Butter Chicken Pictures, which I am very excited for. The character I play is a sweaty and anxious paralegal; to quote Dave (one of the directors), "Carter [The Paralegal] is a guy who messes up a lot," which is a role I've had first hand experience in many different professions (specifically when I was a plumber's assistant). I was slightly nervous as to whether I really remembered my lines that I had briefly skimmed, however, I did very well with my performance (I hope). My favorite part was filming some of the character movements for Carter (specifically I was instructed to look anxious) which consisted of me doing various fidgets, involuntary hand movements, and reflexive throat movements to invoke the character's sense of anxiety. Anyways, I did pretty good although I was worn out at the end of filming. Dave, Shane, Anne, and Saja were extremely nice to me. The acting experience was different than usual as I felt like a completely different type of entertainer than I am as a musician. I’m very thankful to Dave and Shane and Anne and Saja, they are very sweet and it meant a lot to be in the movie. My buddy Erik was also there, who I hadn’t seen for a little bit and consider a great friend. Anyways, once I had finished up my scenes and more of the actors had arrived, I decided to leave to prevent the office we were filming becoming too crowded. Here’s some pictures from the set:
I walked to Burm's Booksellers, which is a local bookseller in Beckley and I bought three books: I bought an old copy of Crime and Punishment, A Child Called "It", and a volume of Ralph Waldo Emerson's essays. From here, I went home and I watched The Piano Teacher by Michael Haneke, it was a very good movie. After The Piano Teacher, I tried to watch Benny's Video and I ended up falling asleep.
On Saturday I stayed home. I read quite a good deal and I ate some red baron pizzas. My grandma (the one who died) used to buy those same Red Baron Supreme Pizzas and I'd eat them with some Kureig Chai Tea Latte and I'd watch some Minecraft UHC or Minecraft Bedwars videos before taking an after school nap. At about 11 AM, my family came back home and I took a nap at noon.
From here, I read until about 4 PM. I went over to K's house and I spent the night.Me and K got some iHop and me and her had a good time watching some Druski videos alongside some Minecraft videos before going to sleep. From here, me and K ended up going to bed and I slept very good. Me and her snuggled once we were both cold which was very nice. I woke up at about 5 AM.
Today I woke up and I took K to work, which was wholesome and me and her shared a smooch whilst listening to some old Shiloh Lofi mixes, which I think healed something in me. From here I went home and I read a little of the book "Game Change," which is very good and is about the 2008 Presidential election, which is something I am very much interested in. I took a very good nap and I read the Bible for about 2 hours. I plan on playing some Minecraft for a while and then going back to bed.
Goodbye.