It is currently 4:42 PM. One minute before I started writing the last blog a week ago - I know this because I looked at the last entry's html file to change the href's and what not. I have a very basic understanding of html. This week has been fine. This week has mostly been filled with writing E-mail drafts, transcribing the MCA journals, being semidepressed, and doing some of my finals. My finals have been relatively easy, I have two more finals to do this week and I'll be finished with the semester. The journals are going well, I am going to try to transcribe some of my old entries tonight and listen to some Simon Whistler videos. Currently he is talking about 4chan, it is the QAnon episode for his channel "Decoding the Unknown," I have not seen this episode. I have spent many a summer on 4chan - unforunately, the website hasn't been enjoyable in approximately 15 years. I used to spend my time on the draw threads on /b/ whilst listening to documentaries - I have a very fond memory of watching some documentaries about the dark web on youtube while drawing people's requests in MS Paint circa 2015. Anyways, I feel it is important to elaborate on what I do for work, atleast the circumstances that I find myself working in as I try to use it in my songs - for example, the song Bush Ghosts from my album Insect Politics uses the ICD-10 code "V97.33," which is a medical billing code for being sucked into a jet engine, unspecified. ICD-10 codes are essentially short hand for medical events that an insurance company would need to process, these refer to medical events and conditions. These codes are also referred to as "DX codes." Anyway that's a long way of saying I do prior authorizations, I'm often tracking down various phone numbers that haven't been used in months alongside the mindless muzak that I seem to be the only enjoyer of. These phone numbers often are connected to call centers and remote workers who provide a bizarre point of reference to the sheer size and scope of the planet and those who inhibit it. That being said, I've spent this week mostly doing prior authorizations as they come in from our old legacy fax machine, organizing manila folders, and carrying multiple cases of water at once.
This was my Monday through Thursday. Thursday there was a pretty decent snow and my office decided to open at 10 AM on Friday, I stayed the whole day and then I hung out with my buddy Seth for a little bit. I was glad to see my buddy Seth - I missed him quite a bit, we hung out and talked and it was swell, we also had coffee. From there, I went home and relaxed.
On Saturday, Blue Shell played a show. I woke up early on Saturday so I could type up some of the MCA journals and finish up the month of February from said journals. At about 11AM, I went to pick up my buddy Ronnie (same Ronnie from the MCA journals), we arrived at the practice space around 12:30 PM, from here we loaded up and headed on to the show. We went to sheetz and left around 2 PM. The show was a Christimas benefit show, we got there and there was a very good band called To Be An Astronaut, they're a prog band but they were my favorite I saw yesterday. We played at around 5 PM, this was when the sun was setting and people were leaving. This was okay because we ended up having some technical issues which would lead to me having a slight episode of hysterics. Essentially, the microphone for the bass drum was switched and this somehow caused a feedback loop for the monitors that created an audible bass note hum/feedback that many mistook for my bass amp. This audible bass note hum/feedback would only occur doing rests and it took 4 out of our 8 song setlist to figure out that it was the bass drum causing this issue. By this time, I was freaking out. We managed to lock in, some of this was do to us plating more familiar songs from our normal set alongside the bass drum issue being fixed - I could also not really hear Kyle's guitar at all for one of our newer songs. After our set, I had to sulk and put our equipment up. I was honestly depressed and I wanted to go to bed - I was just mad at myself for getting to invested in the feedback debocale for a show in which was realistically just fun, and I was mad at myself for being upset at missing notes, and I was mad at myself for having such a big ego, and most of all I was mad at myself for missing J (that's the girl from the beginning of the blog), and I was mad at myself for all these feelings I was feeling.
Anyway, I didn't want to overbear my friends with these feelings because in the grand scheme of things - we did fine. We ended up raising 1,000 dollars for charity - which quite literally could be the most noble thing I've done as a musician. The charity the show was sponsored by ended up selling a lot of merch for extremely cheap, and I ended up buying a lot of it. I bought a lot of stuff that I would later give to my mom and my grandmother. I was still depressed, however I survived and ended up cutting my emo bullshit once I had a salad which was very, very amazing. It was called the Hail to the Cheif, it was a standard Ceasar salad with grilled chicken but it was very good. I paid in cash for it, which was also a positive because I have spent quite a lot of money in the past week or so with my debit card - so using cash was nice. We saw three more bands - This Machine which was a very good progish metal band, Sinz of Eden which were a standard metal band that ruled - they were sort of like a semi-redneckish metal band that I really enjoyed, Together Lost was the last band we saw and they were a very formal metal band with 8-string guitars and it was amazing. At some point someone won a cruise from a raffle, considering my depressive state and my severe sea sickness and my admiration for David Foster Wallace and his story "Shipping Out," I was not the least bit interested in going on a cruise. The cruise was a nice little prize, however I couldn't help but imagine myself on a rusted up ship, swaying violently back and forth, yellow seaman garb - alongside a setting akin to something seen on Deadilest Catch.
From here nothing too interesting happened, my buddy Sam had came to show and stayed the whole time - he is quite literally the swellest fellow I know. Me and him talked about OBS and Bloom's Taxonomy. He geniunely enjoys Telepathic Judas and Insect Poltics. A lot of my fans (who I also appreicate) tend to be kids around 19 or 20 who happen to not have been dealt the best hand in life and often contact me for advice. While I am 23 and do not have much advice to give, I'd like to think I can help a little bit. I have one friend named G who I have been friends with for a few years - currently our friendship usually involves me telling him to pursue computer science and advising him that if he is going into the military - he should enlist in the air force. Sam however, is a teacher that I actually had in school - he was one of the first teachers who I really connected with with our shared interested in the YouTube channel, "This Exists." He goes to a lot of shows and he geniunely seems find something enjoyable in everything. He really cheered me up after my Depression Quest, and I'm very grateful for him - he invited me to eat a mexican restuarant and I wish I would've went, however by then I had already ate my salad. Some of the guys from Together Lost invited me to go to McDonald's with them, and I should've went however I ended up backing out in case anyone from Blue Shell needed my keys. We stayed till the very end and Kyle won a 7 string guitar and I dropped Ronnie off once we made it back to Beckley. I made it home around 2 AM.
I woke up this morning around 7:30 AM. I ended up lying in bed until 8:30 AM and I drank coffee and then I took a shower. My grandmother texted me to say she was going to be late for church, I made it to church around 10:25 AM. There was a different preacher than our usual preacher, and I really enjoyed his message. It was a message that had all the hallmarks of a very strong conservative message whilst also being very forgiving and progressive, providing you fire and brimstone alongside the hopeful hand of Christ to hold onto. I have a pretty firm stance on being agnostic, I was hoping my last relationship would convert me into Soren Kierkegaard, however it did not. In fact, it did the reverse - and through no fault of J, my faith has been rocked. My faith has never been too strong, but lately I feel as religious as when I was an edgy 12 year old 4chan atheist. However, the sermon gave me something to believe in. The preacher quoted my ex's favorite verse - or atleast he said "heavy laden" which is an allusion to J's favorite. We read David's final words from 2nd Samuel. From here and I came home and took a nap with my dog. I have been writing for a little and I believe I will soon go to bed. It is now 8:22 PM.