It is Memorial Day; 9:43 AM. I am listening to M*A*S*H on TV Land, which I've never seen. M*A*S*H is a very eerie show, or atleast the episode I was paying attention to was, which was about an army captain who is convinced he is Jesus. My only knowledge about M*A*S*H is from Infinite Jest (1st MAY Y.D.A.U., OUTCROPPING NORTHWEST OF TUCSON, AZ U.S.A.). I have read a fair deal this week, which I am proud of; I finished a section of Erikson's "Childhood and Society," and I hope to read some more this week.

On Monday, I watched two movies. I watched Pearl with Mia Goth, and it was really good. The story is creepy and it was overall really well thought out, however, I didn’t care much for the Covid commentary - I’ve heard the words “quarantine” and “lockdown” enough for my lifetime. Pearl is a good movie, but I can certainly tell that the movie must suffer from the same misunderstandings that a movie like Fight Club or American Psycho suffers from. I watched the movie (Pearl), and I enjoyed the commentary and the plot was engaging and I saw myself rooting for Pearl overall - however, she was not a morally sound character. These are the same complaints that I believe most great movies have to face (Walter White, Patrick Bateman, BoJack Horseman, etc., etc.). I also watched Jarhead, which is probably in my top 10 if not top 5, it’s a very good movie and I’m a big fan of Jake Gyllenhaal. Jarhead was one of the movies I watched over and over prior to going through military school; I think it’s a movie that critiques war well. One example is how one of the characters’ quote Hemingway, which I could relate to as a former annoying JROTC kid parroting Hemingway any chance I got (see MCA Journal Entries). Anyway, I really like Jarhead; it’s a great movie and it sets out to do what the movies wants to do - display the issues of Desert Storm and critique war alongside showcasing the maddening levels of trauma and boredom present within such a situation.

On Tuesday, I did not do too much. I watched 4/5s of Saving Private Ryan and then I got bored. Seth sent over the live set from April 17th so I started work to get that released on Bandcamp. I went home and I read a little. I’ve been reading Freud (specifically his case studies) which can be a little much - hopefully once I get to the Ratman and Wolfman chapters, the case studies will be more enjoyable. Erik Erikson’s Childhood and Society is a much more enjoyable and understandable read that genuinely seems to connect Freud’s theories to a framework that seems helpful. Erikson also seems to be a lot more pleasant. I read quite a bit, and I’ve been listening to some videos from LacanOnline’s YouTube Channel and I hope one day to understand Lacan’s sector of psychoanalysis.

On Wednesday, I watched the series finale of The Boys. It was an okay finale, it made sense in the same way a rushed essay makes sense, however, the finale didn’t make me as mad as One-Shots did - which I consider to be the worst episode. I really enjoyed the boys until this season; I think if you want a decent end, you should just watch until the end of Season 4, but Season 5 exists just to exist, and the finale is fine and exists to end the series.

After work, I saw K and me and her had a very nice time together. I watched her play Minecraft while I scratched her back. It was real sweet and we had a good time. We got Subway and I stayed until about 8:30 PM - I went home and read a little before going to bed.

On Thursday, I watched a couple videos about Roseanne - specifically this video, "Roseanne of The Conners, A Leftist Reading of the First Nine Seasons." There's a couple other good videos about Roseanne Barr and Roseanne Conner; such as "This Scene Completely Changed How I Watch Sitcoms (Roseanne)," which is about the Season 5 Episode 9 "Crime and Punishment," and the video "Conservative Comedy Destroyed My Life," specifically the end portion which is about Roseanne Barr's "Cancel This!." There's an interview clip where Roseanne refers to her show as "anti-television" and goes on to state that it's "anti-media," but to quote David Foster Wallace: "even if something is an anti-show, it's still an anti-show." Roseanne specifies that she talks about on her show, "the horrible things television has taught my generation [Baby Boomers] and I'm doing it on television." This is an interesting thought, that some poisionous ideation is hidden within Bonazana or Happy Days or even something as wholesome as The Andy Griffith Show; This, however, is not something that I have too many ideas about at this time. Roseanne as a figure is complex but I believe the overall concensus is that of disappointment. This sort of disappointment is common amongst generations: Richard Nixon, Lonesome Rhodes, Milli Vanilli, SkyDoesMinecraft, Ashlee Simpson, CallMeCarson, Morrisey, Shane Dawson, Cormac McCarthy, John Edwards, LeafyisHere, Ted Haggard, etc. and etc. This is another thing that I am not really qualified to analyze in it's full depth, however what I will say is that whether it be Roseanne or Morrisey, each generation must confront that disappointment.

At about 2PM, I left for a doctor's appointment for my ingrown toenail. I signed in and they took my whole toenail out. It was rather painful and during the numbing process, I asked why they called the procedure a "matrixectomy," specifically I was interested in the "matrix-" prefix, and I was informed that the prefix simply refers to the nail (the same way "rhino-" refers to the nose or "mani-" refers to the hands). Anyways, I don't have to wear a slide or anything similar but at the present moment I am having to wrap my toe in gauze.

After my appointment I went to pick up Caleb as me, him, and Dave were going to start recording the new album. I picked up Caleb and me and him got Wendy's. I am obsessed with Wendy's new Jalapeno Ranch Burger and that's what I got. We arrived at Dave's around 5:45 PM and we had a good time recording. Caleb did a really good job at percussion - with brushes on cajons that ended up sound really cool. Me and Dave switched out mics for recording and we decided the best microphone for recording would be the pencil instrument microphones we use to record guitars. Dave played the QChord on the song and I played bass and did vocals. I also added samples. I'm very excited for the song and it turned out really really good - I think the song just needs a distorted guitar playing the chords and then mixed. We all had a good time recording; One of the best things about recording and practicing with Dave in Caleb is that we all have a great time and we all get different things out of those recording/practice sessions. I may be digging too much into this but it's an interesting note, for example, this is Caleb's second band and he's very excited to record and play some new shows and this is my full band I'm leading so that's a new experience in communicating with Dave and Caleb alongside the new ventures into merch and contacting venues and Dave seems to have a great time working and communicating with me and Caleb and guiding us through different aspects of recording/practicing/planning in the band. It's a fun time, and Dave is a very good teacher - he used to substitue and I remember before me and him reconnected, I saw him a couple times at my high school. I'm very excited for these upcoming shows and this new record - it's going to be a good time this summer. I bought a keyboard from Seth and picked it up, I listened to a KingSpook narration of the creepypasta "Blue Kings" whilst driving home and once I got home, I read a little of Freud and Erikson and then I went to bed.

On Friday, I listened to the song me, Dave, and Caleb recorded the day before and it sounded really good in the car and through headphones. I worked a little bit and rewatched Prisoners (2013) with Jake Gyllenhaal and Hugh Jackman, it's a great movie - I've come to terms with the fact that when it comes to movies I'm a big plot guy; don't get me wrong, I love a good movie built solely on themes like Bresson or Haneke, but I prefer really cool plots like Prisoners, Gone Girl, Se7en, Nocturnal Animals, Old Boy, those sorts of movies built on plot more than anything. Anyways, at noon I picked up the new deaththreads's "Deathreads" T-Shirts, which are really cool. They were done by Orchard Printing Co. and I'll sell them at shows, which I am very excited for. I then went to Qdoba and talked to the workers about Kyle Busch's death, which is really sad. My sister is really sad about his (Kyle Busch's) death as she was her favorite driver, I asked my dad if he remembered when I was upset about Billy Mays's (of Oxiclean infommerical fame) death which I was really sad about at the time. I accidentally said "Billy Blanks" instead of "Billy Mays" in my text which I found really funny. My dad mentioned that I was really sad when Steve Irwin died - which I think was the general feeling for all children who were watching at Animal Planet at that time. I went back to work and I watched the new Sagan Hawkes's video entitled, "Malware, Glitches, and Haunted Games," which is a very well done youtube video. I really liked the glitchasylum forum archive section alongside the section about Uncleum's video "Five Nights at Freddy's weird mobile port," this latter video is a really cool fnaf ransomware horror video that I reccomend. I love how creepy the Jeopardy theme is in that video. I also watched this virus iceberg video (linked here.) by Spooxa. I left work at about 2 PM and I practiced a couple songs by Myuuji on piano and then worked on my fingerstyle cover of Chopin's Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2. At around 7 PM, I played Minecraft for a while. I stayed up until about 9:30 PM when I went to bed.

On Saturday, I read and practiced piano and guitar. At about 2:45 PM, I picked K up from work and me and her hung out and at about 7PM me, K, and her mom went to Chili's. We all had a great time; I talked K's Mom's ear off about psychoanalysis. Me and K fell asleep to some Minecraft videos and it was sweet.

On Sunday, I woke up with K and drove her to work. I drove home and listened to the recording for one of the new album's songs. I also listened to some KingSpook Creepypasta narrations. I went to church with my grandma and then took a nap. I went to Silverdale after my nap and talked to Kyle and Dylon - they planned on recording vocals however Dylon's copy of Reaper was acting up. It was nice to see those guys. I went home around 7 PM, and I watched The Thing (1982). It was a fairly good movie and I played Minecraft. I ended up going to bed on the couch and it was nice.

It's now 10:15 AM. I've wrote this entry in piece-meal, usually writing each entry a day later. I'm going to Wendy's with my mom and sister later - which I'm excited for; I'm obsessed with the new Jalapeno Ranch Cheeseburger, it is very good. I forgot to mention this story, but last week I went to Wendy's with my mom and this guy (who we will call Gross Dude) kept leaning over the tray they (The Wendy's Employees) set out to place our food on to look into the kitchen, which is weird. I went over to the front and I asked Gross Dude to move away from our tray, I heard some mention of him being a Door Dash Driver, which kind of explains why he was so hell-bent on looking into the kitchen (it doesn't justify it). But anyway, over the course of the next 10 minutes, Gross Dude slowly leaned over the tray some more and I slowly got more freaked out at the idea of him breathing on the food or beard hairs/skin flakes falling onto our tray. Gross Dude leaned over an extra little bit and right before I was going to say something, the Wendy's Employee came to the front and begun to lay our (me and my mom's) fries down - which I asked the Wendy's Employee for another tray, which prompted her to be slightly confused (I think she was a new employee) and I explained in not so subtle terms as "This Guy (I literally pointed at him with my thumb) kept leaning over our tray." After we got our tray and she laid the fries on our new tray - Gross Dude stood up and unforunately there was an awkard tension. I could tell that he wasn't too happy with me and (I guess) to break the tension, he said something like "what's taking so long?" Which I did not reply to. Anyway, I got me and my mom's food and so did Gross Dude and he left. My mom said she was proud of me, stating that my dad would've let Gross Dude lean over our tray and then been mad the whole day about it. This is probably true - and it's probably true for most men that they would avoid original confrontation but then spend an ungodly amount of time pointlessly being upset about those sorts of minor, annoying incidents. Me and my mom laughed about the idea that Gross Dude probably was expressing his anger about me calling him. That was last week, so hopefully that won't happen again. Fear and Loathing in Wendy's. I plan on practicing some more creepypasta related songs on piano and taking a nap and watching some cheesy horror movie this week; either The Substance or Smile or Obessession. Anyways, I hope my readers have a good day. Goodbye.