January 16th, 2020 - 8:55 AM
I hate that damn trumpet song, I've been waking up about 20 minutes before they actually woke us up, it's annoying because I don't know what the actual time is - and it doesn't help that Johnson runs around screaming The main thing I hate about Johnson is that we're a pretty good platoon. I mean they talk quite a bit, but when we stand perfectly still, it is perfectly still. You hear some real depressing things around here. A kid just told me he has half a heart. A girl tried to k-ll herself in front of everyone yesterday. That kid who has half a heart told me he likes old school rap music.11:59 AM
It's finally lunch, today we're having a fish sandwhich and the same salad - we also had a peanut butter sandwhich for snack, and I don't really like peanut butter sandwhiches - but after we ran our mile, I really enjoyed it. I like peanut butter, and jelly - that was amazing. If I had it my way - I'd eat PBJ sandwhiches, breakfasy buritos, and oven roasted chicken subs everyday. Other things I'd do if I had my way would be wake up beside E{...} and then I'd work on a book or something and when I'd finish it, everyone would go crazy about it, and I kind of just relive that for all of my life. I believe that's what heaven is - it's like you relive your happiest memories or something but I have the problem where everytime I get really happy, I cry. I mean there's tons of moments in my life where I've been truly happy I just never realized it. I forgot to mention in that whole being a writer scenario I'd be beside this girl I love, whoever that may be and then I'd to whatever job I have, I may work on computers, I might work at subway and be going to college to work at the park service. Sorry I got off topic, no one will read this. But, I'll tell you at dinnertime, I believe we're getting ready for lunch right now.6:50 PM
So I lost my pencil, but I'll find one soon. But as I was telling you, about the things I want to do and the things I want to do and things that might end up happening when I get home I might go to Chicago for a week, for E, but I'm still waiting on her letter. I'll write in the morning.January 17th, 2020
8:02 AM
I'm trying to be positive and it's working and I belive that's one of the most important things a human being could do is perservere. That would be a precursor to what a sh-tty day this has started out as, but it's over, not entirely but some of the worst is over. This kid is telling me about greek gods right now. He me about crying and how this place is hell. This place isn't hell. But in a way this day has gone fine, we finally did laundry We eventually got our shit together and hopefully the awful PT sesson we had. I'm really proud of myself, I really am. For getting through all of this shit, the way I do. Thank god for brain fog. It's easy to space out - not in some big majestic way. My arms are sore. But I used to think I was a socipath. Goodbye.9:25 AM
So we're in an actual classroom right now, which I love. It's honestly an amazing feeling to be in a relaxing place while your body is sore, it means you put in the work. We just did a test, a pretest, but I tried my best on it. I hope I did well. We're having snack right now. It's a chocolate bar and some go gurt, you should've seen how happy I was when she handed them out. But let me tell you about my morning, Johnson wakes up like usual, I've gotten used to the chaos that is waking up, however, he decided to add laundry in - and that set everything out of whack. Every now and then I'll get a soft spot for Johnson, but when you really don't like Johnson - you really don't like him. But it could be worse, we could wake up to Mr. Bircher, he's the one who said I couldn't mop.That offended me, it really did. I take my job at subway with pride. There it seems like I am somebody. Here, you have to act like a machine and like you are miserable,
and then when you're up on the graduation stage or at home, you have to act like every single squad leader cares about you in some deep amazing way. For some reason, Mr. Hughes or Mr. Mullins,
they really do care. But some of them, like Sisler or this guy from new jersey, you just have to deal with them. They kill me, they're really goofy. They're always real argonant, Sisler always smirks
while we're freaking out or getting chewed out. It's a real awful thing to smirk while some kid is getting chewed out. I think this whole Iran thing is awful too. I see a lot of kids just like me scared and always thinking and always trying to be happy, and it really is sad to think they could get drafted, or even worse sign up without really thinking about it.