It is 4:01 PM. I am watching the youtuber sourcebrew play Google.exe, which is a very strange creepypasta. I have linked his playthrough here. I've been working on a project where I have a lot of repeated listens of different creepypastas and I have decided my favorite part of those stories are the weird sort of quirks that are present in the stories such as weird sort of goofy allusions (such as the in-depth discussion of Little Big Plant levels in the story, "The Wheelchair in the Creek" or the name of the main protagonist in the story "1dollar.wav" being named John Goodman (I am not joking).) or goofy literary/tonal/style quirks (such as the line "It was an utterly normal day for me. Well... actually, I'd gotten a parking ticket and a jury summons, so it was a pretty [not good] day for me," and "Preferring to relax a bit before dealing with them, I went straight to my computer to do... well, nothing at all; just some browsing, check my email, et cetera," from the story "□□□□□.anima," or the goofy reliance of faux swear words (such as freaking and crap) in the story "1dollar.wav," which leads to the funniest line in "1dollar.wav" being, "ENOUGH OF YOUR CRYPTIC CRAP!"). I wouldn't say most creepypastas are bad; especially when you can very confidently shift through the awful action horror stories and r/nosleep stories where you can tell the title came first and the stories came after, but what I will say is a lot of those stories have the same sort of appeal as cheesy slasher movies or awful movies from Tubi. Anyway, this most interesting part of my week has been discovering the great postmodernists. Most of my philosophy interest has been based on Schopenhauer, Dostoyevsky, Kierkegaard and a slight interest in some other German Idealists (mostly). I've been aware of people like David Foster Wallace and all the postmodern fiction, but it wasn't until this week that I discovered the world of postmodern philosophy, which I hope is a big, positive discovery in my thought and life. I've discovered names such as Baudrillad, Deleuze, Bataille, Debord, Borges, and Kristeva. I haven't bought any of these author's books but I have been doing some research and have enjoyed my time researching these authors and it's provided me a hope there is a way to apply my interest in creepypasta and internet culture through some postmodern, philosophic lenses; the only sort of reference that even comes close to this idea I have would be the book "It Came From Something Awful," but in a shorter, lyrical form.

On Monday, nothing much happened. I did my Residency and then I worked and then I was ready for bed. I was still feeling pretty crummy from being sick on Saturday, so I took some cold medicine and then laid down. When I'm sick or drunk, I'm not as picky as usual about what I listen to while I sleep - so I decided I would seize the opportunity to listen to some "Scary Stories" compilations from my youth. I can't really fall asleep with any sort of phone call audio, loud audio, or creepy music - which makes me really selective about what I listen to while falling asleep. I listened to a Mr. Nightmare video about scary stories from McDonald's and it brought back a memory of when I was about 16 and I got to go on this FFA forestry competetion and we went to a McDonald's and we ordered 100 chicken nuggets. It's a memory that I hold slightly dear - it's one of the last childlike memories I'll have. Anyways, I also listened to an old deleted Corpse Husband video - CH used to be a good creepypasta narrator - I really enjoyed his EMT, 911 Operator, Cop stories.

On Tuesday, not much happened during the day - same as Monday - but I finally got a chance to read. I tried to read a little from Zizek's Looking Awry about Lacan and it was very great - a lot of insightful lines that I found myself relating too - I think there was a dried blood stain on one of the pages, most likely from a cut finger or similar - just a swipe, nothing concerning. This two was relatable - it's no secret to anyone who knows me that I had an issue with dermatillomania, originally I picked at my face and now I pick at my fingers. The face picking lasted about a year, but I ended up always being scared about my face getting infected and people always worried about me (right fully so) and I started picking at my fingers; It should be noted I've been working at not picking my fingers as bad - but I still struggle with it and some days are better than others. Anyways, the dried blood gave me an odd sense of hope; Was there another odd dermatillomanic tried to find something to cling onto in Looking Awry; through Lacan; through Psychoanalysis; through Philosophy; through anything?

Wednesday was the day of my postmodern discovery. The awakening from dogmatic slumber, to quote Kant. I watched a video called "The Philosophy Iceberg," which is a very great video that discusses actual philosophies and has an actual useful progress through philosophy. A majority of my philosophy comes from things like Michael Surgue, free college lectures on YouTube, and my attempts at reading people like Kierkegaard and Sarte and Schopenhauer. I have an okay understanding of some of these texts (not really Kierkegaard, but I could get by in a basic discussion of him) so these postmodern figures have really sparked a creative spark in my heart - especially with the postmodern link of art and music. My buddy Sam linked me a video once discussing guitar distortion, and distortion as a musical effect as sort of a musical equilavant to Hegel's Absolute. I have never read Hegel, but that sounds awesome and makes me want to read his music and think about musical effects and their link to philosophy. I did a lot of research on Baudrillad and I watched a nice lecture about Bataille's relation to William Blake - which I enjoyed a lot before heading on home from work. At home, I was only able to do some school work before going to bed.

On Thursday, I worked a full day at my normal job. I did some research about more postmodern people, specifically I found out about theory fiction like Reza Negarestani. After work I went to a park with Kyra and Dave and Dave's girlfriend came up to the park and we began practicing the new album for the release show. It went very well, and it was great to see Dave and talk with him. After practice me and Kyra got Cheddar's and it was very good but I got full quick and was very sleepy. I dropped Kyra off and drove to my house and went to bed.

On Friday I had a very busy day running back and forth between work and my residency building. I did a lot of work and was fairly proud of myself. After work I picked Kyra up and me and her went on a cute date where we to TJ Maxx and Hobby Lobby. Me and her would hang out at her house and watched Police Bodycam videos - specifically ones where the cop car gets stolen. I left her house at about 8PM and right before turning onto my road my low tire pressure lit up in my car. I had planned on getting new tires the next day since my tires were going bald, so I was hoping I wouldn't awake on Saturday to a flat tire. From here I played Minecraft and went to bed soon.

Yesterday was Saturday. I woke up at about 6AM and went to the Tire Shop - I did some college work while waiting for my tires and I left at about 8AM. It wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be and the tires were only 600 dollars, which isn't super bad. I came home and began to work on a hat that resembles The Coneheads. At about 1 PM I picked Kyra up from work and while she was getting ready to go with me to my grandpas, I took a very nice nap on her 200 dollar pillow, which I think she spent that money wisely. Me and her went to my grandparents and it was nice and I also saw my mom and stepdad for a sec. Me and Kyra went to the BEX Oddities Fair, which was a lot of fun. I picked up a board game for a friend and talked to my buddies Shane and Saja. After this me and Kyra went home and relaxed a little bit before going to bed.

This morning I took Kyra to work and I went to church. I've much of today doing school work and working on my Coneheads prop. I plan on reading some and then working on my Minecraft world's Netherbase.

Goodbye.