It is currently 7:08 PM; I have had a very busy week and I've detailed a lot of it whilst jotting down various tangents that are important to me. Today I watched 3 movies: Stand by Me, Mean Creek, and Bully. Stand by Me was a very great movie and I enjoyed it; it was also my first Rob Reiner movie. Mean Creek and Bully are both movies that I've watched a couple of times that I enjoy quite a bit. I find the "young people finding a dead body" metaphor for coming-of-age as a very impactful and dark way to illustrate the weight of growing up. In an age where a majority of young people are introduced to the full cruelty of the world earlier through news footage, social media, and shock videos; I wonder if we will ever see a story structured like Stand By Me or Mean Creek that uses the same heavy metaphor but in a modern, wired context. Right now I am watching a video about the Marine Corps which is very good, I have linked the video here.

Last Monday, I watched Predators, which is the documentary about To Catch A Predator. Like any man born in the early 2000’s raised by the internet, I have internalized a lot of different quotations from the show. I’ve done the same to a greater extent with a lot of lines from SleepyCast. I wonder if the upcoming Primetime movie with Robert Pattinson will be any good. I did rewatch this upload of the Bowling Green, Kentucky TCAP investigation that also incorporates the previous Dateline segment, “Enemies at the Gate,” which was Stone Phillips’s investigation into fake passports. I remember watching the passport segment at my dad’s in a really bizarre sort of ordeal that I don’t really care to detail as it’s from the month-long-period in 2024 when I just stopped taking my Effexor.

Once I got home from work, I organized some of “Funeral song” and the Dionaea House sample in the song and it is essentially finished, I just need to add the vocal overdub; which I am slightly dreading because I fear my Snowball Microphone will not fit with the song - but who really knows. Once finishing with messing with the sample, I also added a robot sample to the new first song and then went to bed.

On Tuesday, I watched my buddy Sam’s old animation, which was very good and I enjoyed. I saw Kyra for a little bit and it was very nice. I did have to leave around 7PM because there was a big storm coming in. While driving home, there was these dark grey clouds, and sometimes when I’d look in my rearview mirror the sky looked almost pitch black and very rapturous. Once I got home I played Minecraft and worked on my nether village and watched Our Hero, Balthazar (which was okay) and then went to bed.

On Wednesday, I read a little bit and then went home. In the evening, I saw my grandma at church which was very nice. I was glad to see her. I went to bed once I got home.

On Thursday, I had a very tiring day. My anxiety was high due to cutting it real close with my FAFSA. I discovered the genre of music termed “losercore,” which is like a weird offshoot of hyperpop but it includes things like WifiSkeleton so it’s more along the lines of music for short-form-content-short-attention-spans that’s somehow lyrically complicit in the moral degradation of society. I think the words “losercore” gave me flashbacks to Big Brain, Small Skull and MFMT and the various SoundCloud comments and emails I used to get. Anyways, the song “Misery” by Pupsies gave me an actual existential crisis because lines like “I miss that kind of misery, the kind where you are nice to me , but only in the evening so I asked myself, ‘Am I just dreaming?’” come off as a (hopefully) unintentional weaponized form of songwriting that normalizes these extremely destructive relationships. There’s an argument that songs that emphasize drug use or any criminal activity normalize and promote those activities, however, this argument falls apart when one realizes that the mention of those topics (drug use, abuse, and criminal activity) often stem from failures of systems far larger than the contextual material of the song itself (“The Bigger Picture” by Lil Baby is a good song that addresses this sort of phenomenon); this criticism is often leveled at Rap music (often by ignorant, conservative white men), however there is different interpretations of this argument that could be leveled at different genres of music such as discussion of Alcohol trade in early country music (as a response to prohibition), which is the only real argument I can think of.

Anyways, the “misery” song and other songs like it do not seem like they are just songs that are story-telling or expressing anything but rather they are expressing something that is dangerously influential towards normalizing this hyper-online culture that welcomes the feedback loops of abusive internet relationships, destruction of reality by slow-absorption of online realms (a la Frog in Boiling Water, The Wired from Serial Experiments Lain), and poor coping mechanisms toward real-life traumas. That last point really depressed me due to the several other factors involved with that point. The song Misery has an impression that the song is glorifying a damaging trauma response along the lines of “my power is held within my ability to continue to be miserable and to continue my cycle of suffering,” which is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard. It’s normalization of similar ideas (adjacent to phrases like “nothing gets better” that are problematic in their (the idea’s) normalization that cause problems to range from the continued suffering of clinical or major depressives (with specified emphasis on those with any sort of treatment or philosophical resistance to get help) to an introduction to Nhilistic Extremism) that causes this suffering in the first place that every political and corporate entity seems more than willing to capitalize on. It’s very complex and it really wore me out.

Once I got over myself, I watched some Modern Family and then some Schlep videos. At around 5PM, I headed to Silverdale to record some with Dave. It was nice to see him and work on the record; we worked on the third song, “R06.83,” which I was unsure what exactly the song needed. Dave added some really washed out reverb-y guitars to mimic feedback which some really cool and almost like a viola or violin. I also added some distorted bass which sounded good - the song ended up sounding minimal but good and punches where it needs too. I went home at about 7:30PM and played some Minecraft until I went to bed.

On Friday, I worked all day. There was a bad storm the whole day, which was pleasant to listen to. I left work and went to Kyra’s house. Me and her left at about 7:15 PM for a show at Silverdale that I was playing.

The show at Silverdale was nice and I had a good time, there was a pretty nice crowd. Me and Dave were planning on playing acoustic like last week. There was a decent crowd and my dad, stepmom, and sister were also there. Me and Dave started playing right at 8:15 PM. The set went very well, and I honestly really liked the sound of Dave doing leads on acoustic and me doing rhythm on electric - it was a unique sound that I like. The set was fun; Song for Ur Dog did make my sister cry because it is a sad song. She said it made her think of our dog Tazia and our dog whom died, Abie. I walked her and my family outside to get some fresh air and they (my family) soon left before the next band arrived.

The Tape Cassettes are a very cool blues-y rock band that are very talented. The guitar player looks like a cooler Andrew Garfield, and wore a button up shirt that reminded me of the Richard Pryor scenes from Lost Highway. The drummer is very talented and was crazy on the drums and had a very nice demeanor. Both members are very talented and put on a hell of a show. The Guitarist uses a DD-6 Boss Delay pedal for a really cool guitar stutter effect, which is what Nick Reinhart uses from Tera Melos.

After The Tape Cassettes, Seth Akers played all new songs - which was really cool to watch, since he (Seth) just put out an album. My buddies Seth, Erik, and Drew are in that band and it’s really great to see Erik playing bass - I think he really enjoys being able to play to the side of a frontman and the benefits it brings like being able to indulge deeper in those songs. That’s what I get out of playing bass for Blue Shell.

After Seth Akers, I said my goodbyes (which took a while) to everyone and dropped Kyra off. Once I got home, I took a shower and played Minecraft for a little bit and then went to bed.

Saturday morning, I woke up and was instantly anxious. Kyra wasn’t able to get her new ID issued in time for the show (due to the DMV being too busy, which is super annoying) and I wanted to check in to see if the bar we were playing would let her in with her expired ID, and one of the guys from Common Ground was able to ask the owner of the bar we were playing and they (the owner) said Kyra would not be able to come in due to ABCA regulations and possible pop-up id inspections, which I understood - I was very glad to get that out of the way early in the day rather that at the door from this bar which was an hour away. The Common Ground guy told me in a very fatherly way which was sweet of him and I was not upset, because after all they (the bar) were just following the rules. I haven’t mentioned the bar’s name as I have some points about bars as venues that I don’t want readers to think I’m projecting onto this specific bar; Most bars in upstate West Virginia (and most of America if we’re being honest) are like this and are very particular about ID checks. West Virginia has a venue crisis - there is a shortage of places to play and it is very easy to run a venue into the ground by playing with the same bands over and over - if this happens, there is also the risk of when other new or touring bands play a specified venue, people will not want to come to the shows. This being said with the lack of venues, most WV bands often have to play 21+ bars to get shows which puts a huge damper and prevents some from going to shows (especially when a town’s venues are primarily bars) and growing their audience. Again, this venue was really lovely and I had a great time at the show itself; the primary issue is with the ABCA and this sort of exclusionary legislation that prevents music fans from being able to enjoy shows like the one we played rather than the specific bar we played. I’m not advocating for bars to be filled with those under 21 and those with expired ID’s because I know there a lot of other factors and dangers that I have not considered; but I do really wish there was more all ages venue near Southern West Virginia as often bands feel that the only way they can get and play shows is through 21+ bar venues. I am biased as I remember playing bars with Blue Shell when I was 20 and being hounded and lectured by door guys when my age was already okay’d by upper management of said bars (plus I’ve heard stories about those unable to get in only being allowed to play their set before being kicked out once again); I just think about the times I’ve been and those I’ve seen been hounded or turned down or not allowed to come into a bar because they only had a temporary ID or an expired ID or are under 21 often have had this big wave of fear and feel like they’ve done something wrong and it’s been a major negative experience.

I came up to Kyra’s at about noon and whilst walking I almost stepped on a mole that someone had ran over. There were flies buzzing around the mole, and I felt bad. No one, not even moles want to be seen like that. So I borrowed one of Kyra’s stepdad’s shovels and buried him. Kyra and her stepdad thought I was a little crazy for burying the mole but oh well. Me and her relaxed and we took a little nap together and it was cute. Me and her went SteakEscape, which is in our local mall and I got these Buffalo Chicken Fries, which are very good. Me and Kyra talked about how abandoned malls are nowadays. I dropped her off at about 5:50 PM and headed to Silverdale.

Me, Dave, and Jordan met up and loaded up. They offered to carpool and it was really nice of them to drive me to the show. We had a great drive.

At about 7:30 PM, we got to the bar. We had a while to go before the show actually started so me, Dave, and Jordan took some photos with her camera which was a lot of fun. We staged some pretty crazy scenes that I’m excited to see. I talked to everyone in Dr. Scientist, who are really cool guys and I remember each members name (the last show I only remembered Ben, the drummer’s name) and No Place Else, who I’m also good friends with and they make good music too. I was also excited to see Common Ground, who I hadn’t heard before.

Just before the show, my two buddies Jacque and Lacan showed up, Jacque had drove Lacan to the bar. I’ve chosen different names since I don’t want to spread their business, but after I had found out that Kyra wouldn’t be able to come because her ID was expired - I texted everyone who was gonna go to this show to make sure to bring their ID. My buddy Jacque was able to get into the bar with no worries, however, my buddy Lacan had brought his expired ID. It should be noted here that Lacan has a tough time with social situations which is indicative of Autism Spectrum Disorder; this isn’t to say the bar should of just let him in (even though his ID did say he was born in 1992) because of this, however me, Dave, and Jordan were petrified when we realized the situation. Lacan was certainly freaked out and shook up and in panic mode and before me and Dave could figure something out, Lacan had been kicked out and was out the door.

I felt really bad for Lacan, and I knew he felt embarrassed and his feelings were hurt so I apologized to him and felt bad for not specifying to make sure the ID was valid; although it wasn’t my fault objectively, I think Lacan was unaware of how picky bars can be about those things. I gave Lacan a t-shirt for his trouble. Jacque and Lacan decided Jacque would stay for the show whilst Lacan would walk around town. This was slightly dangerous, however Lacan said he would be okay and insisted on Jacque staying. Jacque would also keep in touch with Lacan.

At about 8:50 PM, me and Dave took the stage and it was a very good time. There was a pretty sizeable crowd and from what I could tell, they were attentive. I played all the songs and it was awesome. Mike and Molly is of particular note, because in the video Dave’s girlfriend Jordan took, you can hear multiple people singing and clapping along which is very sweet.

After our set, Dr Scientist played. They were very good and I was super glad to see them play. They had a cool energy and people loved the synth and their indie vibes. I had recommended them for the show and I was super glad to get them on the bill. Ben, the drummer, is great and very talented - Issac is very good and plays very similar to Johnny Greenwood - Jesse is a very talented frontman and Nathan is my buddy and plays the bass very well.

After Dr. Scientist, Dave and Jordan went to check up on Lacan, however Jacque had been texting him and was able to quickly make sure he was doing alright. My buddies Seth and DJ and DJ’s Girlfriend Tyler (the one who wrote the dog poem from my song Bea Aboo) also arrived at the show. Whilst Dave and Jordan were out looking for Lacan, me, Tyler, and DJ chit chatted about books and then Common Ground played.

Common Ground played around 9:30PM and they were very great. They had (what my buddy Dylon describes as) a New York Hardcore sound, they also wrote songs and talk about West Virginia history a lot, which was pretty cool. The frontman, JX, also mentioned the show Dopesick which is a very good show that I reccomend. There’s a very good scene in that show where this doctor character who has become addicted to Oxytocin calls the salesman who made the doctor interested in Oxytocin the first place, and the salesman apologizes to the doctor and the doctor asks if he knows where to get Oxytocin; it’s a lot more powerful of a scene than described here, so I recommend readers watch the show itself.  It should be noted that Perdue Pharma has rebranded itself to Knoa Pharma.

After Common Ground, me and Tyler went outside to get some fresh air. DJ soon joined us, and we chit chatted and it was awesome. No Place Else started whilst we were chit chatting and I listened to them while outside. I came in and caught the last 3 songs and was really in awe and how cool they are. Their new music is definitely more metal infused and I really liked it. I really liked Tyler’s bass tone and their guitar work.

After the show, Dalton from NPE gave us me and Dave’s door cut which was super nice. Me and Dave made 40 dollars altogether which was awesome. Seth had locked his keys in the car so Dave was waiting on a Triple A agent to be en route. Me, Dave, and Jordan then drove home and we got home at about 2:43 AM. I spent the night at Kyra’s.

I woke up at about 8:30 AM and went home to drink coffee and I got ready for church. I had a good time at church and I was glad to see my grandma. After church, I went to my dad’s and spent some time with him. They made some pizza and it was very good. I picked Kyra up at about 2:30 PM and went to band practice.

Band practice went very well and I had a very good time, Kyle bought me a Bass Driver Pedal and it sounds really good and I wish I would’ve got one sooner. Kyra got to talk to my buddy Ryan’s wife, Kyleigh - which was nice. Once practice was over, I was so tired and I dropped Kyra off and went home while listening to The Beach Boys Today; which I think is my favorite Beach Boys’s album. Once home, I played Minecraft until I went to bed.

This evening I got a haircut. Kyra picked out the haircut, which was nice because I don't really care about what my hair looks like. My hair looks nice and the lady who cut my hair was polite. The old man before me seemed to be trying to get her to go this "pat yourself on the back" church nearby. The haircut lady said it seemed I had my hair for a while, which is true. I plan on posting this blog and sharing it and then reading a little bit. Tomorrow I am going to a 3-day seminar before starting my year long residency. I am excited, although nervous. I'm going to start working part time at my job. It'll be stressful, although I hope it is worth it.

Goodbye.