It is currently 4:21 PM, I am listening to the new Goose Boose video, who is a very good YouTuber. I've linked this video here. He (Goose Boose) is currently talking about Folk Valley which I feel like has some kind of philsophical significance regarding the decline of mortality and the rise of nihilism but idk. It's interesting but worrying for sure, for example that Freakbob Cult is weird and tragic because a lot of people (specifically young adults) end up in those sort rabbitholes that most of us will be blessed never to understand and this bizarre niche dangers only seem to increase day by day. There has been a meme that encapsulates this weird semi-serious character phonemenon, this meme is the disturbing use of Mike Myers's Cat in the Hat character in various meme formats, I've linked a good video from Spooxa about this specific meme here. My buddy Sam reccomended me the song "Line Goes Up, Line Goes Down" by Emperor X, which I had not listened to; This song is very important and shows off Emp. X's ability to create impactful political songs that an audience can catch onto. There is a spoken word section about politics which both me and Sam found very interesting. The song speaks on the Soviet Union being "a brave attempt to represent the will of the eternally blessed that ended in catastrophe" and (my favorite one line) the United Nations formerly being "a brave attempt to represent the will of the Earth and the unborn" but that current issues such as "the permanent security council frequently vetoing the few resolution count." These analogies, or rather, these discussions speaking on real events or institutions as applied philosophy is really important and interesting. Zizek does this really well with historical events and pop culture (specifically I really enjoy his book "How to Read Lacan"), but I know it was common for some of the psychoanalysts (Freud, Erikson(?), Lacan) to write long essays on analyzing historical figures such as Da Vinci, Maxim Gorky, Martin Luther in a psychological/psychoanalytical context. Anyway this introduction paragraph's point is coming to my endpoint that these things such as Folk Valley and the weird cult-like symbols such as Mike Myer's 2003 Cat in the Hat meme format (Spooxa's YouTube Thumbnail has the words "CIA PSYOP?" and "MEMETIC WARFARE?" plastered on the thumbnail, half jokingly) or Freakbob or the whole insane world of True Crime AI Content have some philsophical or political or psychological weight that while being reported on through various journalists, should and very well may in the future be analyzed in the same way that Zizek explains Lacan through Bladerunner or Etymology Nerd analyzes the term "slop" as a modern suffix.

On Tuesday, I listened to the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta while driving to work and I had a very productive day at work; While waiting to go home I read a chapter from the Dhammapada and a few chapters of the Bible while listening to KatieJane Garside’s album Lullabies in a Glass Wilderness, which I consider to be a very good album. I really like the sample work on the song “Dark Angel,” which is linked here, if you would like to listen.

On Wednesday I woke up a little and I saw a CBS story about the eBay stalking scandal, which is a very interesting but chilling case. I’ve linked the Barely Sociable video about it here. It was settled for about 56 million dollars. After this I went to work and after work I went up to Silverdale. Me and Dave are gearing up for a show next Saturday, which I am very excited about. I hadn’t seen Dave in a while, he’s going through some major life changes which I won’t detail but I’ve been praying for him and talking to him without bugging him too much and letting him know I’m there for him. We came up with a pretty cool set, and it was nice to chit chat with Dave after so long. Me and him just talked like buds and worked on some music. It was really nice since I missed him quite a bit. Dave mentioned my overuse of the emoticon “B)” which is supposed to look like a smiley face with sun glasses, however it took him a while to realize what the emoticon was. I overused that emoticon since I was 8 when I first got Facebook, which I find slightly humorous. After Dave left, me and Seth hung out for quite a bit and got some Chic-Fil-A. We had a good time and it was really nice. I then came home and went to bed.

On Thursday I remember Youtube Explained. As I was coming out of being a Minecraft kid (my favorite YouTuber was ChimneySwift11 and ZexyZek; I have real fond memories of playing Survival Games on ChimneySwift’s old Minecraft server that I can’t seem to find any evidence of existing.) I watched all of Spike Lee’s When The Levee Broke, which is a very good documentary about Hurricane Katrina. I’ve linked a YouTube link to the documentary here. At about 1PM, I went over to the hospital to get my blood drawn for work. I’ve developed an anxiety towards needles so when they drew my blood I looked away. After my lab stuff, I went back to work and then I went and saw K for a little bit. I felt pretty woozy, but me and her got Cheddar’s and it was very good and me and her relaxed and it was very nice. I went home at about 7 PM since I had some packages come in the mail. I had some violin parts come in the mail alongside a couple of books; a selection of Lacan’s Écrits, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Grandmothers by Doris Lessing, and Wittengstein’s Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. I hope to read those books soon as they look pretty cool. I haven’t done much reading this week, which is a bummer. I worked on my violin and still felt pretty woozy so I soon went to bed. I did not fall asleep fast, and I worried about my wooziness and worried my blood pressure was too low and then I thought about my blood pressure and my constant worrying about it and how I need to exercise and then I worried about me sleeping near my phone for the past 10 years and was worried I would get brain cancer and then I became depressed about death and my own mortality and I had some kind of epiphany or prediction about needing to maintain my health. I remember me and my buddy Eddie and his ex girlfriend did one of those “When Will You Die?” quizzes that were popular on Facebook in the 2010’s, and I remembered mine said I would die in 2040; which we made a very lame inside joke in 6th grade, but as I laid in bed it gave me a slight panic. My grandma died of a heart attack at 65, which is very young and in 2040 I would be 38, which the possibility of having a heart attack is low but once I get my insurance under control next month, I’m going to start seeing a general practitioner. This 2040 anxiety then proceeded me to dive headfirst into a depressive state about death and how we’re all going to die and it really bummed me out and I was worried why I felt this way and then I remembered: I forgot to take my Effexor Thursday morning. That explained the emphasized and prolonged wooziness with my blood being drawn and my depression. I’m aware that I have anxiety and that when I’m anxious about abstract things like work or college, my brain will shift towards anxieties or dwellings that are more controllable such as the inability to go to the past to a “better” time, etc. Anyways, once I realized I forgot my medicine everything made sense and I found some comfort in the fact my Effexor does actually do something. The hallmark of an SSRI or SNRI doing it’s job is that a patient doesn’t even realize it (the SSRI or SNRI) is working at all, this is good because it allows the user to feel a slight freedom however there is a danger in that patients often feel like they would be fine without the antidepressant or that the antidepressant hasn’t done anything at all; this is literally what killed DFW. I know there’s a line in Good Ol Neon by DFW about not wanting to take antidepressants out of not knowing what the real you would be and there’s a Norm Macdonald line about facing the world head on (with emphasis about avoiding therapists and by implication antidepressants) but I am pretty on board with medicine and I’ve realized my awareness of death and my own depression is just too soul-crushing and I really couldn’t handle it without my medicine, I mean I couldn’t handle it when I was 17 or when I was 19. I will also say I don’t think my writing or songs would be that good if I wasn’t on an antidepressant because I would most likely be crippled by depression and anxiety. Anyways, after my realization of missing my dosage of Effexor, I thought about writing an article about this old widow I knew before she died and I fell asleep. I think it would be a good writing exercise.

On Friday I went work and knew I was going to be wore out. I made plans to hang out with Seth and Erik and Al. Al is a new figure in this blog so I will link his album here, which is very good and I really enjoyed listening to it. I went to work and I worked until I didn't. I also watched Michael Clayton and Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, which are both great movies. Once I got home, I took a micro nap and I worked on my violin for a little bit. It went kind of good, until I realized that the violin strings were too short for my violin because my violin is actually a viola, which is slightly larger than a violin. I wasn't too mad (although it did pissed me off a fair bit but it didn't ruin my night) and ordered some viola strings. After this, it was about 8PM and I headed to Erik's house and arrived a little before 9PM. It was very good to see him and Seth and we chit chatted for a little bit. Around 9:30 PM, Al arrived and we started to jam. It was a very good time and we did two songs on the spot for a project Erik is working on that I won't spoil too much but it was very good. I really liked the last song Seth and Al came up with, Seth wrote some really good lyrics. Once we finished, we listened to the songs and then I left. I listened to the creepypasta, "My Dog Went Missing For 3 Days" while driving home, which is probably my favorite creepypasta. I made it home and stayed up for a little bit to play minecraft and went to sleep at around 2 AM.

I woke up at about 7 AM on Saturday, and I was still pretty sleepy. I didn't really do too much until I left to pick up Kyra at noon for a Blue Shell show we were playing later that day. Kyra was ready when I pulled up to her house and me and her got Tudor's before heading up to Silverdale. At around 1:30 PM Seth, dropped off a spare key and we loaded up our UHaul for our show in Madison. Whilst loading, I saw the reporter who interviewed me last weekend and he interviewed me again for an event that was going on nearby. Wouldn't be funny if from those interviews, I ended up becoming an accidental media correspondent or spokesman for WV Art? Like imagine me on CNN talking to Anderson Cooper about that the local Beckley Art and Music Scene. I think that would be slightly humourous. Anyways, once we were loaded up we all headed to Madison, WV. I drove Ryan and his wife Kyleigh and we had a good time chatting while drive. The drive to Madison was pretty and we ended up arriving around 4PM.

The show we were playing was a "Rock The Vote" event that aimed to get people to register to vote. Once Blue Shell was set up, me, Kyra, Ryan, and Kyleigh snuck off to find an Ice Cream Truck that Kyra and Kyleigh had heard shortly before. The Ice Cream truck was actually a Shaved Ice Truck and it was okay. Most of the flavors tasted like vape juice (in a pleasant way).

The show started a little after 5 (I think), and my buddy Sam arrived, who I was happy to see. Kyra was drawing and she was having a good time hanging out with Meg and Kyleigh although she was a bit sleepy. The first acoustic acts were good and the civic center's atmosphere of being a big echoy gym-like building with local advertisements plastered all over while a country-folk-type old man sung about being a coal miner reminded me of some kind of scene from one of those early 00's depressing documentaries about rural communities. After those acoustic acts, Jay Parade played, who are a very good pop punk band and I enjoyed their chord progressions and the bass player's tone and I really liked the singer's Black SG Copy.

After Jay Parade, Blue Shell played - our set went well and I didn't do too many crazy moves but I did do pretty good and the audience had a good time. After our set we set our equipment to the side and I relaxed. Me and Kyra sat outside for a second and then we went in to see the band Jerks, who I really enjoyed. I really liked the last song they played, although I can't seem to find it on their bandcamp.

After the show, we took a little bit of time to leave but we did have a good time. We went to a McDonald's, which was awful. Boone County really is a nightmare and it just feels forgotten and there's just nothing there and everything seems to be 20 minutes away and you just feel bad for anyway growing up there. I grew up in a pretty rural place with nothing to do so I could only imagine how a kid would feel growing up that far out in the country. Anyways, we were all tired from the show and the employees were rude and one of our band members found raw meat in there burger and it was overall not a good time. After our unforunate trip to the Boone County McDonald's, we headed home. We had to go up Bolt Mountain and the giant coal mines were pretty and interesting. I did something during the concert that my grandma does when my pastor says something political or controversial during the show to my buddy Sam when one of the acoustic acts said "coal keeps the lights on," I asked Sam if it was true. Sam said a majority of WV's power comes from coal and there's only a couple hydropower plants around WV, which I found interesting. Sam asked reccomended me to look into this website about WV Policy, I am also looking forward to - he's really smart and a good friend. Anyways, the trip down Bolt Mountain took forever and was annoying, however, whilst Ryan and Kyra were asleep Kyleigh talked to me about all sorts of stuff during the long, seemingly endless drive to keep me awake (although, I don't really get sleepy whilst driving, but I thought that was nice of Kyleigh). We finally got back to Silverdale and unloaded the UHaul and both Kyleigh and Kyra were passed out when we finally left, which was funny. Me and Kyra got home, checked on our rat Ghost, and went to bed. Kyra fell asleep instantly, however I got sick from the McDonald's alongside the other unhealthy food I had been eating all day alongside being super hot and tired. Once I got some rest, I felt better and curled up next to Kyra and I woke up at about 8:30 AM.

This morning I woke up and spent some time with Kyra and Ghost and I then went home and showered and then to church with my grandma which was nice. Once I got home from church, I talked to my mom and stepdad for a little bit before taking an about an hour long nap. Since then I've been writing this blog, it is now 6:20 PM and I've been watching the new Nexpo video, which I've linked here. It is a very good video and I highly reccomend this video. I am going to post this blog and order some books on Thriftbooks and play some minecraft. Goodbye.