It is currently 4:29 PM. Me and a girl broke up yesterday, we had been dating for a month.
I am currently rewatching season 4 of The Boys - the new and last season is supposed to come out this summer.
I scheduled an appointment with my tattoo artist, Journey. Journey is a very lovely lady with green hair and
she has done most of my tattoos. The tattoo I will be getting will be of the album cover for Snowing's
debut EP "f-ck your emotional bullshit." The title for that ep is a brief summary of how I feel regarding
my breakup - that girl was a nice girl but I think she treated me unfairly. I mean it would be hypocritical of me
to say I haven't done the same sort of thing in other circumstances, because I'm almost positive I have. I understood her feelings and what she was trying
to convey - I understood it before she probably did, it was just a lot. Me and this girl met at The Blue Parrot
, which is a bar that exists, we had a very sweet couple of weeks - I spent the night with her, she met my families,
she went to my church, my work, my shows, etc.
Anyways, at some point she stopped liking me, and that may have been a panic reaction
or could've been due to outside stress or she could've just not liked me anymore,
which is fine. I just wish she would've told me sooner,
we may have had a shot at talking it out but probably not. I've had to tell everyone.
Most people said "y'all looked so happy," which I thought we were until the past couple of weeks.
I knew we were having the convo yesterday (and I assumed it was the breakup chat because she had been distant all week,
I'm also not dumb), but she had been minimumly affectionate yesterday
sending heart emoticons and what not - but once she got in my car she started crying.
It's a lot to breakup with someone, and I knew that was her end goal with the conversation,
and I ended up having to guide the conversation. I say "guide" because she used language that was
targeted towards ending things without allowing any sort of reprise. That's okay,
that's what she wanted and I provided solace although, I probably shouldn't have.
I have been sick all f-cking week, some kind of cold with a sore throat.
Today I just have a bothersome sinus thing and now I am getting drunk.
I cancelled my Hunter's Safety Course because I am slightly depressed.
I redownloaded the dating apps but I do not really have much ambition to meet anyone.
Tomorrow I will go out and hang out with my grandmother, who I love very much.
She liked my girlfriend quite a bit and is kind of sad about the break up - that girl
went to church and had bunyons (like my grandmother) and she was also the same shade of tan
as my grandmother is - I think my grandmother liked that similarity. Anyways that girl is gone and
I have no intentions to talk to her again, because she hurt my feelings. Me and Grandma will have a good day,
she's more worried about things than I am. I am going to buy a guitar next week, it's a black epiphone hummingbird
with a pretty bird on it. That's probably what I need, and to read more books, and to study code.
My friend Erika is some form of a marketing person, she mentioned possibly showing me some stuff relating to marketing.
I would love that, that would be very interesting to me. She released a song the other day, I do not have the link.
Me and my grandma will release
4 songs next friday, which is also Puhskiniti Day. I am going to get drunk. Goodbye.