It is 7:56 AM. It is raining pretty hard outside, which is nice. I dropped K off at work this morning and I drove home. I read a reddit post about defogging my window, which worked. While driving home I listened to some YouTube videos about the 2006 AOL Search History Leak. It’s a very interesting case and there’s a lot of interesting (albeit extremely depressing) environmental(?) storytelling. I don’t really feel like linking the YouTube videos (videos I watched were by The Internet Investigator and Reignbot) or the SomethingAwful thread or the archive.org archive of the data leak as they are easy to find. It is Easter Sunday so in honor of our lord’s resurrection, I will quote one very interesting User 2647781:

2647781 history about jesus where some sayings have it that he was a woman
2647781 looking for biblical data where some are saying that jesus was a woman
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 holly bible data ref jesus not being a man 2006-03-25
2647781 history about jesus where some sayings have it that he was a woman 2006-03-25 21:07:34
2647781 history about jesus where some sayings have it that he as a woman 2006-03-25 21:07:49
2847781 want information on section that claims jesus might have been a man 2006-03-26 19:19:43

On Monday, nothing of note happened.

On Tuesday, nothing of note also happened; however, I did have a brief bout of depression from reading DFW’s grading of a Stephen Miklaucic’s report entitled “Appropriating the Postmodern: McCarthy’s External Narration and Spatialized Time in Suttree,” which is a wholesome and rather enjoyable read and I’ve linked it here, because it is that good. My brief bout of depression mostly stemmed from my stress related to searching for a different job that will fit alongside my residency plus taking additional tests and stressing about money and all that sort of crap. Another stressor is me having slight regret about not applying myself in High School – honestly, I don’t really care and things are most likely the way they are for a reason – I did try to apply myself in high school once in Algebra I in Freshman year and I was really proud of myself but the other two times (Once in Chemistry and the other in Algebra II) did not go so well and I don’t really care to elaborate because they are not that interesting anecdotes. There is also the issue of that I only seem to engage with course material when it isn’t relevant to any of my courses. I’m aware my self-consciousness related to my intelligence is a very pedantic and egotistic issue, which can be summed up in this DFW quote (I have an irrational fear of using the word irony incorrectly, but this may be ironic):

“Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out."

- Wallace, D. F. (2005, May 21). This is water (Commencement address). Kenyon College, Gambier, OH, United States.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but look at neuroscience majors and philosophy majors and I sulked with my yearning to be smarter. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter, and this is a capital-F First world problem. I read a lot and I try my best and I live a pretty good life and that’s all that really matters. Though the profession I’m seeking requires the expansion of learning, so hopefully that will quell this intellect issue in due time.

On Wednesday, I worked and it rained. I finished the Infinite Jest audiobook, and I read a couple of theories. It is my favorite book, and I think I got a good grasp on the “plot,” at least a lot better than the first time I read it in 2021. My Aunt, Cyndi, stopped by my office to drop off my Christmas Gift. She bought me a box-set from Umbrella for my favorite movie “The Dirties” by Matt Johnson. It’s a blu-ray and I need to watch it (the blu-ray) soon (Even though I really just wanted it for the bonus features like the “We’re Just Here For The Bad Guys” shirt), I really want to do a pretentious over-invested character study about Matt Johnson’s character for a later website(?). It began to rain very hard on Wednesday and pretty much flooded, I saw K and me and her went to Michael’s and I bought some balloons and we got Cheddars and we had a good time. I went home and I did a little schoolwork.

Thursday was the last day I had to work this week before Good Friday, and I got a lot of work done and I worked the full day. I talked to Dave on the phone and we talked about an upcoming show I’m invited to play and discussed the album. Erik sent over some of the scratch tracks that had the volume boosted as they were a little quiet, and they sound really good. I’m very excited for these shows (intermingled with college/work/financial/slightly-paranormal stressors) this month, which I’m sure I will write about. I came home about 5PM and then I played Minecraft.

On Friday, I played Guitar and I’m working on a real good song. It’s a tribute song about someone I knew who died (I try not to use fluffed language related to death (atleast in regards to writing or direct communication, I’m not so blunt in sensitive context) as I think terms like “expired” or “passed on,” whilst appropriate in some circumstances often seem mask or desensitize the matter-of-factness that is death), I won’t elaborate on the context of the song as it should be somewhat evident in the lyrics themselves – but I am having a terrible time naming the damn song. I’m unsure if I should just name the song “your dad” and be blunt and get to the heart of the song or do something else with the title. I’ve trying to be more liberal with song titles, such as naming a song “eBay Stalking Scandal” or “On Postshow Depression” – this idea is for one obscure a song’s meaning or at least obscure a song’s topic by naming a song after a subjectively more interesting thing (like “eBay Stalking Scandal,” which is a real thing that happened.) and/or naming the song in a very direct way in a format akin to that of a philosophical dissertation (As in the example of On Postshow Depression). Anyway, none of this really applies to this “your dad” song and I think that may be the title ("your dad") that I go for since the song after will be called “funeral song,” which is also a very direct title.

After working on music, I took a brief nap and then I played Minecraft. From here me and my stepdad burnt some boxes and then we went inside and had steak and then I went to sleep on the couch. I fell asleep to Marvel Movies, and I woke up at about 4:53 AM and finished the 2014 X-Men movie which then switched to an infomercial. I then went to bed and fell asleep to Wendigoon’s Yuba County 5 video, which is a really good video.

On Saturday, I did schoolwork in the morning, and I bought some Red Barons. I was going to try and read a little bit, but I ended up just scrolling on Instagram Reels until about 12:45 AM when I picked K up from her work. Me and her then went to her house and I took a nap. I woke up at about 3:30 PM and she and I had a cute little party for my dog Tazia. It was a good time, and fun was had by all. At about 7PM, me and K left my mom’s and went to Diary Queen. Me and K then went to her house, and her stepdad installed an AC Unit and me and her watched a little fishtank and me and her went to bed.

It is now 9:19 AM and I am going to take a shower and then go to church. I’m not doing anything for Easter; I might do a little schoolwork and try to read and work on music and then play some Minecraft – but we shall see. Wish me luck managing my schedule and I plan on doing my taxes this week. Goodbye.