It is 4:41 PM. I am very wore out today, my eyes are heavy and I have a slight headache. I am drinking white claw and will write until I no longer feel like it and then play Minecraft until I no longer feel like doing that and then I will go to bed. I went to church today, the sermon was about war due to the current state of affairs. The pastor mentioned growing up in the 70s and how during the Vietnam War that the churches were packed – it was very a good anecdote. If I had joined the military at 17 I would’ve been out last year – mostly likely not, I would’ve gave myself unnecessary trauma  and became so socially maladjusted that I would not know how to function outside a militarized context and would’ve stayed until I died or retired. Anyway, today has been a fine lazy day. The weekday section of this blog will be mostly organized by what I listened to for a majority of the day but realistically my consumption of entertainment was rather scattered.  

On Monday, nothing too much of note happened. I watched Gremlins and Back to the Future whilst filing paperwork, both were very good.  

On Tuesday, I saw an Instagram Reel about Episode 16 of Neon Genesis Evangelion which was originally titled “Sickness Unto Death,” which is an allusion to Kierkegaard. Me and Kierkegaard have a very troubled relationship – I’ve listened to more 8+ hours lectures regarding Kierkegaard without being able to get through a single book of his than I really care to admit. His work is kaleidoscopic and I’ve come to the defeated conclusion that much like Church, I have to let the First Authorship wash over me and take what little bits of understanding I can until one day it will make sense. I did watch a very good presentation which I believe was part of a Philosophy 101 course during the Pandemic, which helped me understand Sickness Unto Death quite a great deal. I have linked that presentation here.  

On Wednesday, I listened to Pallettown’s reading of Mister Squishy by David Foster Wallace. I have linked the narration here. I had requested this narration, so I was very excited to listen to this story whilst working my clerical office job. I’ve read Mister Squishy once and listened to it through a freetrial once. Pallettown’s narration is the most accessible version to this story. To provide context, Mister Squishy is a story about a focus group being facilitated whilst a stuntman claims a tower, there is one sinister inclination – however, it is really up to the reader whether that inclination is actually happening or not. DFW has a great way of setting up something within a plot whilst having the entire story center around other things not related to that direct plot while still keeping the reader engaged. Mister Squishy is also a commentary on work-as-religion lifestyles, over bloated jargon, and lack-of-necessity-despair in the same way that Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard is a commentary on Hegel’s philosophy and jargon. Specifically, there is this 900-word sentence that relates itself to the slog and tiredness present in modern life by being a sluggish and tiresome 900-word sentence. I read an article that goes into more detail, I have linked it here. There is also a quote I have linked that I really enjoy linked on the homepage for today’s date for this story.  

On Thursday, I watched some Zoom Trolling videos. I won’t go into too much detail because there’s not much philosophy involved. I will say that for a lot of people (realistically it’s only the graduating class of 2020 that finds any nostalgia from online schooling related to the pandemic) enjoy these videos because they’re so dated in the respective time-frame that they can only really occupy that one space and time. Most Zoom Trolling videos are not interesting or funny, they are mostly boring and do not even take place within in a classroom setting (atleast for Zoom trolling videos posted after 2022) – which I think viewers (including myself) only tolerate the dumb Fratboy humor because these trolling videos awaken a sense of morbid curiosity in the same way that a school fight does. Anyways I watched this 10 hour Zoom Trolling by a Youtuber named iRezi, I won’t be linking any of these youtubers because I don’t really want to cosign these youtubers because I don’t really care; but my favorites of these youtubers are Pugz and Zolks – these youtubers got into the craze of Zoom Trolling during the pandemic and then left once the trend was over and honestly made some of the funniest videos during that time period. Zoom trolling (specifically) is odd in relation to ethics, because they range from the most ethical Zoom pranks are just slight interruptions within meditation classes or book clubs whilst the most unethical pranks take place within AA meetings, which I think is in poor taste - however the people being pranked just seem to be confused or take the interruption in jest. Anyway, none of this stuff is important and just a note on this very specific genre of YouTube Pranks that I no longer feel like writing about.

NOTE: I fell asleep immediately after writing the last paragraph on March 1st, it is now currently March 2nd as I’m writing the additional Friday-Monday section.  

On Friday, I mostly worked and then went I went to K’s, I took a nap at her house and it was very nice. I’m very hesitant when it comes to sleeping at other’s house, however it was a nice nap. At around 7PM, Blue Shell had rehearsal at the Raleigh Theatre which went very well. From here I went to K’s, me and her relaxed and we soon fell asleep, which was very sweet.

I slept in until 9:56 AM on Saturday - this is unusual because I’ve become very used to waking up early on weekends. Anyway, once I left K’s I went to my dad’s to work on my guitar. Me and my dad got a lot done; we made the pickguard flush the strat bridge and then I drilled holes for the pickguard itself. At some point the wood has begun to split where the glue joints originally clamped together. I plan on gluing these pieces back together on Saturday, however the 3 piece is still together and I plan putting the guitar together for a dry run during this week at some point before actually finishing the guitar. Anyways, I stayed until 2:30 PM when I left for Emo Nite.

Emo Nite was fun and I had an enjoyable time. The preshow was fun and I hung around Seth and Friends alongside Blueshell and company, which was fun. Around 6:56 PM people begun to funnel in. I talked to my buddy Erik about us recording the next album, which we are planning for Saturday so I am very excited for that. Ronnie drove herself to the show and me and her talked about her promotion and new car. I am very proud of her. At 7:56PM the show actually began. I sat with K and her friend whilst my friend Sam sat in front of us and I talked with him. At one point Sam bought us some soda, which was very nice. K’s friend lost the top to the Japanese soda which will kind of play a part into the less interesting drama section of this blog. The acoustic act covered 3 Smashing Pumpkins songs which I hadn’t heard in full since 2013. After the acoustic act (I wasn’t sure of his name), New Jade played 5 Elliot Smith songs which was very enjoyable. Emo Nite has always been very lax on definitive emo labels, which presents some typical non-Emo bands being covered on this show (to the dismay of genre snobs and other nerd-emoji types), however I think Elliot Smith fits within the emo class of bands from that late Millennial demographic both in musical timbre and lyrical quality. Genre labels are for reviewers and consumers and Advertising and I don’t think musicians should really put too much thought in genre matters. Anyway, New Jade did a good job and then everyone went outside whilst the Paramore cover band set up.

Whilst everyone was outside, I decided I would try to open K’s friend’s Japanese soda. I circled essentially 2/3 of my friend groups whilst asking for and brainstorming various ideas to pop the marble in the Japanese Soda. At some point, a person who we will refer to as DL (Drunken Loser) appeared and was beyond enthusiastic to see me and K - DL gave me a hug which I was rather uncomfortable with but I ultimately chose to engage in a cordial hug so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Upon me leaving apparently DL told K that she should “not get back with that Loser,” which is why I have chosen DL’s specific nomenclature. Anyways I left this part of the story and waited in the green room until my band played but apparently DL tried to get K to do shots with her; which I find rather in poor taste due to K’s proud sobriety. I believe DL either snuck into Emo Nite or paid 30 dollars to see one band (my band) and then leave. DL may have snuck in due to her extreme banality, but I like to imagine that DL spent 20 dollars (plus 20 dollars from each member of her own party, who were honestly nice people and were not obnoxiously drunk) just to see my band (after claiming I’m a loser) and then disappear back into a nightclub immediately after my band’s set. I put this much detail into this unfortunate section because DL’s behavior freaked everyone involved out; I hope to never see or hear from DL again, sober or otherwise.

From my point of view, I went to the green room and waited to go to the front stage. Once the 3rd band finished we began to rather compactly bring our equipment onto the stage. At some point someone in the 3rd band unplugged some of our amps and/or XLRs, this was an accident and isn’t meant as a slight - but I mention it here to outline that there was a brief panic amongst Blue Shell and the sound staff about doing an impromptu sound/line check in front of 90+ people. Luckily everyone was able to cross reference Input Lists alongside brief line checks on our amps, mics, In-ear equipment, pedals, etc. anyways we were set up and the curtain was pulled and we played a very good set. Our set was very good - we played 5 Wonder Years songs. I sung a little, and we played the weird intro section to There There very good. I threw my guitar down and hugged my buddy Aaron from No Place Else. Our set was over, we survived. From here, emo nite winds down. No Place Else invited me and Kyle to throw beach balls out during Downfall of Us All by A Day To Remember, which I thought was sweet that they invited me. Seth’s band played as Blink 182 and they played Adam’s Song which I sung along too. If you’ve read the footnote to my album Christian Science, you’ll know I’ve struggled with depression and Adam’s Song was my specific “I need to cry” song when I was 16. After emo nite was over, we brought all our equipment back to the studio and we went our separate ways. The tour was over, we survived.

From here, all of Blue Shell went our separate ways. I told Kyle I would say a prayer request for him at church the next day. I drove K home and I hugged her and gave her her twilight jacket back that I’d borrow for emo nite. It’s now Monday, March 2nd. I was too wore out and needed rest last night. Sunday was fun and I worked on my guitar whilst watching the second Back to the Future. I was able to remove two screws that had broken inside of the guitar body and then I refilled the hole with tooth pick pieces and wood glue. I also adjusted the pickup height.

I woke up this morning and I’ve watched Back to the Future Part III and Primer. Both were decent. I’m planning on studying whilst watching movies this week. I am pretty nervous about my test next Thursday. I will write before then, I’m sure my anxieties will be heightened by then. Goodbye.