12/24/2025 - Silence
The possibility that the nyhill emptiness, meaninglessness and hopelessness, will eventually prevail uncertainty about the
fate of the soul or the self-versacularists lies at the heart of the human experience.
Injecting many a mind with the existential fear, trembling and sickness unto death,
the silence of God in the Jesuit priest experiences eventually allows him to finally understand the role of Judas and reconcile with his own personal Judas for one who in the mercy of that kenosis radically sympathizes with the weakness and frailty of human beings, even ones like Judas
and Kichijiro.
- kianlayer0
12/17/2025 - Survivorship Bias
12/15/2025 - myhouse.wad
February 14, 2023
Happy Valentines day to the only person I ever loved. For a short time, you brought a little happiness to this painful existence called life. I hope we can be together again one day. In the meantime.. I'll keep looking for that other someone who can be the ray of light in my life that you turned out to be
12/10/2025 - No Correlation
12/8/2025 - Fall Out Boy
i want to make you as lonely as me
- pavlove
12/2/2025 - Siren Song
let's say what's going on is this kind of Truman Show delusion where he he's basically convinced himself that his life is not his own real life but it's all sort of for a global audience. Once he has an inkling of that and he feels some kind of comfort about it because it lets him escape the banality of what his actual life was, in his opinion it was banality and there's something in him that cannot appreciate what was good or meaningful about it. There's something in him that needs it to be grander than that. So the first inkling that he might sort of be on this global stage that he might actually have this unseen audience and that he could escape that banal life if he only takes these series of steps, sort of plays out what he needs to do to become this hermit character that inkling feels good to him but at first it also feels crazy to him. You know he can't really conceive of it other than it coming into his head and feeling good at doing something for his ego let's say but he keeps revisiting it and that's the siren song that delusion sort of get their hooks into people because they're playing upon some kind of vulnerability and if you let them play upon you, if you keep turning them over in your head it's like listening to the sirens from the sea and giving in to letting your ship veer towards the siren song and so what it looks like is it seemed wacky at first but I started getting comfortable with it that's what listening to the siren song and letting it get in your head that's what it does - Dr. Andrew Van Der Vart, The Truman Show Delusion
11/21/2025 - Dionaea Passage
from: "Condry, Mark"
date: Tuesday, September 21, 2004 2:21 AM
subject: (No Subject)
hey
i just saw this thing on discovery channel, probably a rerun i bet you can catch it sometime.
all about natural predators and stuff. wild things. yeah i’m up watching tv since i can’t sleep.
anyway they had this thing on the venus fly trap talking about how it lures the curious insect to its lip
and then these invisible hairs or something sense when one of the suckers lands on it and wham! it swallows
the bug. just like that. later on it spits out the skeleton of the fly and waits for the next victim.
some types of fly trap plants emit this odor to entice more food, says the voice on the tv.
the fancy name for them is dionaea muscipula.
so i wonder if that’s all this is, this whole thing with the shooting and the anonymous article
and houston and the footprints on the carpet, it’s all to get me into the venus fly trap,
only the scent isn’t sweet sap, it’s guilt. guilt over all those times i was around drew and
didn’t do anything you know what i mean? and i’m flying all over the fucking country and my head is buzzing
and i think i’m getting close to the truth but really i’m tickling some invisible hair and the ground
is about to fold up on me and swallow me down into that place where nancy hughes and ken malone went.
i’m gonna go take some sleeping pills. ihope connie is going better, man. i miss jen.
she has a way of making me feel like i’m home just by being around her. i’m tired of motels.
i’m sorry, eric i’m so sorry.
- m
11/17/2025 — Pavel Paragraph
I must tell you, I do not go to the states very often except on important business.
I was stopped in Danbury, Connecticut to meet with a client on importing marmalade
when at this time I was still in that line of work. The man I met had a wife who was
principle at the local high school, and he would often join her for lunch. So we meet
there, and I must tell you, American high schools are absolutely horrendous. In my childhood,
I would think the schools were bad, but these definitely exceeded my expectations of primal, negative energy.
Kids looked like zombies, stripped of any sort of ambition.
The whole ordeal depressed me so, I ended up having to leave the facilities and take a smoke break.
These kids were there smoking, sneaking outside. I heard them speak of their hatred of the education.
I could not imagine this, a school that taught its kids to hate learning.
Brought physical illness. Due to this, I rarely ever returned to this country.
It might be the land of the free, but these schools reminded me of a soviet prison.
- Pavel